Ascending (The Vardeshi Saga Book One)

Chapter Five

Over the days that followed, my apprehension lessened a fraction as the disparate pieces of my departure began, incredibly, to come together. The gear room now contained a steadily growing pile of bright orange plastic crates with my name printed on them in neat black letters. Max and I had assembled, tested, and disassembled my portable stoves, cooking utensils, and water filters a dozen times over. I had extras of everything in case of breakage. We had designed a menu that was as appealing as it could be in the total absence of fresh foods. I had a full supply of unscented toiletries, bedding, and towels. The boxes from my apartment had been delivered a few days before, and we had sorted through them to assemble a wardrobe that fit the somewhat vague specifications provided by the Vardeshi. There had been a few upgrades, as well; some of my favorite companies had been more than happy to trade free clothing for the promise of photos of me sporting their products on my journey. There was a crate full of photographs and other items to decorate my private quarters. I liked my stack of orange crates. Looking at them made me feel safe.

A couple of crates were labeled Medical in both English and Vardeshi. These contained everything from vitamins to antibiotics to antiseptic wipes, as well as EpiPens, oxygenators, and a handheld device that analyzed the surrounding atmospheric content. I knew the location and purpose of every item in the kits. Anton had coached me exhaustively in their use. He had also assembled an impressive library of medical texts and videos for the Vardeshi doctor on board my ship.

I continued to attend my morning Krav-Maga sessions with Davnah, accruing bruises but no discernible skills. I asked her point-blank at the end of one session if she thought I was progressing.

"Well," she said, "you're certainly trying. And remember that the first principle of Krav Maga is situational awareness. The most important step in protecting yourself is avoiding potentially violent situations."

"So . . . basically you're saying I should try not to get attacked?"

"More or less," she conceded. We both laughed. There wasn't much else we could do. The Vardeshi prohibited weapons of any kind on their ships, and it was more or less guaranteed that all my belongings would be thoroughly searched. In terms of physical safety, I was entirely at their mercy.

After a challenging start in Covert Signaling, I had begun making real progress. The signals Tristan had designed for me were simple and memorable, and I was starting to get the hang of working them into my regular body language. He filmed me delivering the same basic scripted message—everything is fine, cooperation with the Vardeshi is going well, their culture is fascinating—with a number of different subtexts, from everything is actually fine to I'm in danger, please send help. Then we watched the videos together, and he coached me on improving the clarity and subtlety of the gestures. I was still far from adept, and I would never be able to tell a credible lie. It just wasn't in my nature.

"Remember," Tristan said, "the Vardeshi probably won't be able to read your facial expressions the way another human would. They'll be looking for obvious signs. You'll do well enough as long as you remember to keep talking. Don't freeze in the middle of a sentence while you're trying to remember the code."

"Like I did the last three times, you mean," I said ruefully.

My meetings with Dr. Okoye were paradoxically the most soothing and the most intimidating. In the sheltered quiet of her office, I admitted that I wasn't at all sure I had the independence or resiliency it was presumed I would need to survive the coming year.

"What happens if it's just horrible?" I asked her in a particularly dark moment. "I don't mean violent; I already know I can't prepare for that. But what if . . . If they don't talk to me. If we hate each other. If, halfway in, it's clear that it's never going to work, humans and Vardeshi together, and they turn the ship around, but I'm still months away from home."