Making it better

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Alex and carter set me on the table carefully, "I'm fine" I snap, my eyes hardening as I glare at them, Alex sews up one of the cuts across my arm, I wince at the pain, I pull away once he's done, "I said I'm fine" I growl,

I've always been the strong one out of the 4, I barely ever let them see me in a weak state, and I promise I never will

I walk upstairs to the top story and climb onto the roof through one of the broken windows, I look over the ledge of the tall aged building, I look up at the full moon, a tear slips past my lashes and I quickly wipe it away,

"I'm fine" I tell myself over and over again, knowing that it's a lie.

I get back inside and walk over to my bathroom. I slip my clothes off. I step in the steamy shower. The water burns the cuts on my arms and chest. I start to cry. I slam my shoulder against the wall and cry harder.

I punch the wall in the shower, over and over again until my knuckles are bleeding and the wall is cracked.

When I get out of the shower and put on some sweatpants and an oversized T-shirt. I walk over to my bed and let go of everything, giving into my weak side.

I roll around for hours. Trying to go to sleep. But that damned smile was imprinted on my brain, nicks smile was on my mind and it was the only thing that could make me feel better, and I realized a lot today, my father isn't a hero like I thought he was when I was young, he's just an abusive asshole who likes to have power over people under him.
———

I woke up later that night drenched in sweat, I wiped the sweat off my forehead with my palm, I was having one of my anxiety attacks again, I look over in the dark and see a figure standing at my door, I gasp and Ali steps into view, I sigh "don't fucking scare me like that." I say with heavy breaths.

She nods "sorry..I heard you crying." I tilt my head and she nods "thin walls." I rolled my eyes and pulled her to me, she fell into the bed and I wrapped my arms around her and immediately started to calm down, she fake gagged "you stink like wet dog." She groans.

I giggle "so do you." I hum, she curls up on my pillow "I'm here already, and it seems like you need some company." She hums as she closes her eyes.

I roll my eyes with a smile and lay down next to her, I'm lucky to have her, she's family and I want her to stay in my life, if I even live it very long.

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