Head over Heart

Chapter 1

You know that nostalgic feeling whenever you try and revisit your past? Well, I'm having it now. It feels different and at the same time normal to revisit this place, all the memories good or bad just seems to give this place more character and creepiness all in one. Everything looks like it was frozen in time even the old rusty lockers that have dent as accessories. What can we expect in a government-owned building?

I walk through the hall my rubber shoe producing a squicky sound from touching the well polish cement floor. At least their cleaning here even though most of the facilities are old they made sure to have a clean surrounding.

I keep walking everywhere not expecting to bump into anyone since no one is supposed to be around these days due to summer vacation. I keep reminiscing everything from the day I entered, to the day I exited hastily due to personal reasons.

It feels weird as I scan each and every room, how it all brings back unnecessary memories from the past and how it still gives me heartache and indigestion. I keep roaming around every turns I make gets me closer and closer to the place that made me what I am today, I'm not bitter it just made me guarded and more aware of who to trust and open up.

Rounding a corner, I spotted the open field where I use to run or bask in the sun when everything seems to much for me. I sometimes hide in one of the trees just to have a quick break from everything, breathing nature in and releasing all the negativity in my body. It's relaxing to just sit underneath the trees and hear the wind rustle around you and leaves fall freely from every branch.

 I took a sit at the spot where I used to have a perfect view of the woman that held my heart before, it's hard having all this love and adoration for someone that I never have, someone so way out of my league. If only I could go back in time I would have told my young self to stop loving her, to stop thinking about her, but the heart wants what it wants and back then it wanted her.

I also remember the times when me and my friends would goof around here chasing each other for no apparent reason, it's sad that I had to leave them behind without giving any reason or explanation. They could have gone to my house but being the secretive person I am I never told them where I live. They might have tried to look for me but I avoided all the usual places we go to and didn't hang out around, also I didn't really have any time to hang out with anyone.

Life was tough back then so I had to be tougher, living was becoming heavier and heavier as time goes on but I never give up. I made sure to focus on the price and the hope of maybe one day finding someone that will finally accept me for everything that I am. 

 I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't see some people were in the particular room I was just looking at. They seem to be five or six people all huddled up in a table, I can't really see what they are doing, all I can tell is it involves paper and scissors.  They look like teachers here I guess maybe they are, only teachers are loyal enough to go back to school even during vacations.

I watch them for a couple more minutes going in and out of the room and or roaming around the room. By the looks of it, there are four women judging by the length of their hair and one man. I don't really have a clear view or that I don't really have good eyesight well it doesn't matter anyway.

Looking at my watch I can see that it's almost 3 o'clock, time for me to leave. I stood up from my spot and tried to wipe myself of any dirt I acquired from sitting on the grass all this time.  I took another quick glance around and tried to take in as much as I could, inhaling big I stride back inside the building and walked back pass all the rooms then to the principal's office to give a fast goodbye and thanks for letting me roam around the old school.

As I was passing my old room, the door opened and all the people that I saw there came out but I just continued walking. I heard chatters and waves of laughter like they are all excited for something, maybe they're thinking of finally enjoying the rest of their summer vacation free from all the hormonal teens that seem to clog the hallway all year long, well it is a high school so it's normal.

I walk to the registrar to tell them I'm all done with my sightseeing and to get my company ID that I had to show and leave there so I could be granted access here. As I was signing myself out I can tell that the people that were chattering back there are now close to me probably waiting to sign out also, I quickly scribbled my name and clumsily my ID fell on the floor. I was going to get it but a woman already has it in her hand and was looking at it.

"Mav?" a woman ask.