Dirty. Sexy. Love.[*Complete*]

Chapter Sixteen -- Asher

Backstage during the talk show, I paced back and forth. The plan had always been to play the song. I wrote it while on tour, and we performed it one or two times on the road, but there'd never been an opportunity for Jez to hear it. Originally, I just hoped the buzz from it would reach her—since all she focused on was the word cloud associated with the band on social media and how positive or negative it was.

I looked at myself in the mirror. I wore the white shirt she had on when we made the video of the other song I wrote for her. I'd wrapped my skinny black tie around my flipped-up collar like a scarf. My hair had been slicked back by the stylist, and I could already tell that my hair was a month overdue for its trim. I didn't quite look like myself as I rubbed my hand over the stubble on my jaw which was nearing beard worthy proportions. It reminded me of the first time I grew out my facial hair—after Jez walked out of my life the first time.

Sighing, I glanced back at everyone else as they tuned their instruments and Zach twirled his drumsticks. We'd been performing on television a handful of times a year for the last ten years, so this wasn't anything new to us. But for the first time since maybe our second year, I felt a little nervous.

When the producer came and got us, we walked on stage, and my mic was already waiting for me. It was new, one of those chrome plated ones that looked like the mics from the fifties and sixties. The song started, and I almost came in late as I stared out over the crowd. The first word of the song was the hardest to say... Jezebel.

Everything flowed after that, I jumped around and panted heavily into the microphone in time to Dan's solo. At the end of the song, I flipped off the drumkit and almost lost my footing, so I ended up limping off stage to the couches.

The audience was still applauding as we sat down.

"That wasn't what you performed during soundcheck." The host laughed.

"Nope," Zach answered, and I flashed him a smirk.

"So... Jezebel?" The host continued. "Is this a metaphorical girl? An actual girl? The family pet?"

"I won't say if it's her real name or not, but I wrote 'should have told you', 'three o'five', and literally every love song about her," I answered with a smile. Saying it all out loud for the first time felt good.

"Was she the girl in the video, too? You know, the one everyone went crazy over two months ago?"

"Yeah." I swallowed. "It ended recently for good so... you know." I shrugged and started shaking my leg. "I wanted to play her a send-off, and it's the guy's favorite song of our new stuff."

"Sorry to hear that man." We exchanged smiles, and he continued, "I hear you guys are in the studio and about to go back on tour."

"Mhm. It's that thing where we know ourselves well enough that if we don't record when we have the drive to then, we don't. That and well Dan has a kid on the way."

"Yeah, I heard about that..." The rest of the conversation switched to Dan's impending marriage.

#

The problem with waiting for her response was we recorded at noon, and it wouldn't air for another twelve hours. The band all went to some industry thing that night. I'd never been a huge fan of them, I usually ended up hanging out on the corner with a handful of others who weren't big socializers. I really only went because the label required me to attend four a year, and I hadn't attended one yet, and it was already August.

It gave me something to do while I waited for the damn show to come on. Dan's fiancé was at the party, and I could tell by watching her that she was a little overwhelmed by being around so many famous people. I couldn't help but smirk a bit and think about how Jez wouldn't care in the slightest that the party was full of A-list actors and chart-topping musicians. I took my cell phone out and sent her a quick text.