The way she makes me feel, when I talk to her, when I look at her, is like a drug. Powerful. Addictive. And dulls my senses. Everything about her is beautiful, and each second sends me farther into this love-stricken spiral. I still can't believe I get to wake up next to her. To see the sunlight in her hair and the sleepy smile in her eyes as she kisses me goodmorning. My heart still leaps when she brushes a stray hair behind my ear. Jess means everything to me.
Everything needs to be perfect tonight. Because Jess deserves perfect. Jess is perfect. She's working late tonight, she texted me nearly three hours ago but I haven't done anything but worry. My mind is abuzz with a thousand thoughts, a thousand scenarios for the outcome of tonight. What her eyes would look like, glowing with emotion. Her smile, her words, how she'd say my name, confused at first, then the realization would alight on her delicate features. I know she won't say no. We've discussed it before in fact, spending our lives together. But it doesn't dispel the worry.
The soft chime of the doorbell sends me into action, hitting 'play' on the cracked screen of my phone, leaping from the edge of my bed and stumbling over my own feet to answer the door.
"Hey, Beautiful." She looks me up and down. "What's the occasion?"
"I just... love you. So much." I lace my fingers with hers and lead her over the threshold. Her palm is soft and warm against my own.
The music is louder in the living room, and by now she must've figured out something was going on between my nervous attitude and the fucking excess amount of rose scented candles. I do regret that piece, but I was in a romantic mood when I stumbled upon them. I press our palms together in the air and pull her closer with an arm around her waist. I feel her hand settle on my shoulder. We sway to the beat of the song in our dimly lit living room and her smile gives me new courage.
"Lillie... what's going on?" She's having trouble holding back the smile in her eyes.
"Mmm," I hum. I spin her in my arms, gently, letting her do most of it but keeping a soft grip on her hand and her hip. "Jessica Hart," I continue. I drop onto one knee and fish the small velvet box from my pocket. Her hand, the one not intertwined with mine, flies to her face. I can see the tears welling in the corners of her eyes. "Jessica Marie Hart, will you marry me?" Her head bobs up and down in emphatic, uncontrolled nods. She nearly lifts me off my feet, pulling me close in a sloppy kiss. I can taste her tears of joy and feel her smiling against my lips. And right now I only know one thing for sure, I love her. And that's all that matters.
