Supernatural X Reader

I'm Sorry... {Adam X Reader}

Summary: You comfort Adam and tell him it's ok that he's not whole. That you never asked for a saint or an angel you just want him in broken pieces and all.

Warnings: Abuse, PTSD, very light smut, cursing.

***

It was some time after midnight when you woke up with hands around your neck. You tried to scream, but you couldn't breathe. Your eyes were watering up, making it hard to focus on the figure straddling you, not that you needed to. Adam had been out for almost a year now and was experiencing PTSD from his extended time in the pit. He had done everything from kicking you out of the bed, to yelling, to hysterically crying, but he had never done this. In your peripheral vision you saw a lamp and a glass cup. Knocking those over would be enough to wake Sam or Dean from their light sleep if they were asleep at all. You wiggled your arms out of their pinned-down position and swiped your arm across the table. Everything came to the ground with a loud clatter, making Adam tighten his grip on you. You struggled to bring your arms up to his face, as your body grew weaker. Just as you thought you were done for the door shot open. Dean stood in the doorway in shock.

"What the hell are you doing, Adam?!!" He rushed over and tried to peel his body off of you. "Sam!!"

A few seconds later Sam appeared at the door to help. "Holy shit, Adam!"

Both brothers took him by the shoulders and threw him to the ground. You took in a gasp of air and coughed until you though you might hack out a lung. You felt Dean wrap you in his arms and carry you out of the room. You hear the frantic yelling of Adam and Sam growing distant as you were being carried away.

"What happened?!"

"You had another episode, Adam! You nearly killed y/n!!"

"Oh my God! Is she okay?! I need to see her, Sam!"

"I don't think that's a good idea right now!"

"Just let me!"

"No, Adam!"

You felt a tear run down the side of your face as you were laid on top of Dean's bed. He wiped it away and whispered, "Hey, it's going to be alright in the morning. Go back to sleep. I'll stay right here. Sam's got Adam. We're going to get him some help."

All you wanted was to talk to Adam. What were they going to do about him this time? They knew he had been struggling. You wanted to make sure they knew it wasn't his fault, but when you tried to speak nothing would come out.

"Just go to sleep," Dean said, interrupting your whimper.

You gave in to your now exhausted body with no other choice. Your eyes closed and you drifted to sleep with tears now flooding down your cheeks.

--

The next morning, you woke up to hear mumbling on the other side of the door.

"Damn it, Adam. What the hell man?" Dean's voice growled.

"I-I don't know. It's never been this bad before. I don't know what to do...I don't know what I would have done if I killed her, Dean."

"You need some help," Sam spoke in a softer tone. "This is getting out of control."

"There is no help for situations like these! What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"Well, first things first you need to talk to y/n," Sam suggested.

"Is she even going to want to look at me after what I've done. I'm no good for her."

"That's for her to decide. We don't know how she is going to feel. I'm going to go give her some breakfast and talk to her. She knows it's not your fault, Adam."