Hopelessly Satisfied// (UNDER EDIT)

The good and bad memories

Better thoughts

Angelicas pov


I was a mess, that's all I can say, I Remember When I was walking home with my kids and saw all the whispering and gossiping about me, they were being very quiet so I couldn't hear them at first and I was so confused at the time and then I picked up that paper..and..my heart shattered into a million pieces. Does it hurt this bad to be betrayed by somebody you thought you could trust? I remember as a child I would get bruises or cuts and at the time I thought that was the worst pain ever but now as an adult, this feels way worse...

Besides everything that has been going on with me I still have not seen Alexander... before I found out about the Reynolds pamphlet he was supposedly going to wait for us at home but I still haven't seen him in two days, I guess this is better, I'm still broken about everything that has been going on and right now I don't want to see him...the good news is my dear sister Elizabeth is here to help, she has been keeping the children occupied whenever I have a mental breakdown and start crying and has also helped with comforting me, she even helped me with my hair since it was tangled so she cut some of it and put it into a bun. I liked it, she really has an eye for beauty

Its kinda sad how she married john church, I mean the man is great and all but he is extremely boring and dull and its really sad to see my sister with only one child, philip church, I mean the little boy is very intelligent and it's very polite but my sister told me that she wanted to have more kids, I remember when she was pregnant and told me that she was so excited because her family was expanding, I remember when me and Eliza were kids and she would always talk about marriage and kids and the names and how many she wantes to have, I in contrary was talking about how I wanted to read common sense by Thomas paine, I'm still shocked on how I was the one who in the end had so many kids,and my poor dear sister only had one... the reason for this is because Eliza had finally convinced her husband John Church to Bear a child with her the only problem was John Church wasn't much of a kid person so he only agreed to have a child with my sister if make it a boy, he didn't really care if his first Offspring was a female, he would contiue until he got a boy to keep his legacy. The circumstances were unfortunate but my sister agreed to it


I remember after my sister's birth, I started to wonder what would happen next, since from all the letter we sent each other she seemed sad..since there was a big possibility that her first child would be a boy and she would not be able to have any more kids, but even so, she still seemed to be happy.

My sister truly is amazing.

Well, I shouldn't give all the glory to Betsy since it was also my sister margaritas who helped with everything well..she used to help me. I  don't talk about her that much since I'm still..sad about her death In June 1783, when she was almost 25, Peggy married a distant cousin of ours, Stephen Van Rensselaer III, 19; it was likely an elopement. After her marriage, Peggy earned another nickname, this one bestowed upon her by my dear Alexander: "Mrs. Patroon." By 1789, the couple had three children, only one of whom would survive to adulthood. Even though people kept telling her that she was too young to marry or have kids I had absolutely no problem with it and cheered her on since she was happy...but then By 1801, Peggy had been ill for two years. Hamilton, who had resigned as Treasury Secretary six years before, was in Albany on business that March when Peggy took a turn for the worse. He frequently wrote to me, at home in New York City, about my sister's health.

I still remember it
"Your Sister Peggy has gradually grown worse & is now in a situation that her dissolution in the opinion of the Doctor is not likely to be long delayed,"
And then her death...

To be continued