Queliot

Memory Lane

Summary: Quentin and Penny go on a walk down memory lane after Quentin begins to question how much of what he felt for Eliot was real.

Quentin tossed a nickel back in forth in his hands, making it appear and reappear over and over again. It felt trivial, after all he had real magic. He could make fireworks come from his fingertips. But this was real magic, this is what carried him through the soggy sidewalks of brooklyn. Hour after hour.

Quentin kept doing that magic trick, hour after hour, and nobody noticed.

Quentin finally pocketed the nickel, biting his lip. He saw Penny, finally alone as Julia had drifted off to sleep. The way Penny looked at Julia, it only made it clearer why he had to do this.

"Penny." Quentin whispered low and gravley, "Can we talk for a minute?"

Begrudgingly Penny got up and made his way over to Quentin.

"What is it Coldwater?"

"Can you read my mind?"

Penny took a moment to consider whether or not Quentin was actually serious.

"Why the fuck would I want voluntary immerse myself in that? Who was it again that traded Alice 50 bucks and a White Snakes CD to ward it for you."

Quentin momentary stuttered in disbelief, and made a mental note to ask her later if she had legitimately traded a spell for that.

"Look I have memories, and I'm not sure how many of them or real, or exaggerated. Like I blocked them out and now I can't remember them, or at least the right way."

"Like shit about monster?"

"About Eliot."

"Q Eliot's gone, I know you think he's still alive in there but even if we could, the monster would just possess someone else, that or kill all of us."

It was out of place for Penny, his arch and biting sarcasm wasn't absent, but toned down. Maybe it was something about this Penny, a Penny with whom he didn't have so much history,but he was softer around the edges.

"Look I know you dont wanna do this for me, so do it for the quest. The world, her. Put whatever price you want on it I just need the favor."

Penny exhaled and placed head in his hand. "What do you need me to find?"

"When Julia cast that inception spell on me when we were freshman, I would think about things in there. My memories but they were really, really vivid. I'm not sure how many were real. If you could find them, tell me what did and didn't happen?"

"You're definitely gonna owe me more than a white snakes Cd for this.."

Quentin blinked, and when he opened his eyes he saw himself at a restaurant with his father. He was 15, lanky and barkley filling out his sweatshirts. His hair had been shorn off, his father had insisted. Quentin hated it.

"Look curly Q.."

"Your dad calls you curly Q?"

"Just shut up Penny."

"I get you may not love your life, I'm not always happy with mine either. But perfect lives don't happen. What makes you happy, all that Fillory and Further nonsense, it's not real, it's not a life."

"So how was this repressed and traumatic?"

"This way you've been acting, it's unacceptable Quentin. The way you make your mother feel? You love her don't you?"

"Of course I do."

"Then you need to stop this. What you told Julia, about wanting to kill yourself? Do you know how terrible you made your mother feel, you can't take this all out on her."