It all started when I was making a protein shake... More like strawberries, Blueberries, peanut butter and ONE scoop of protein powder blended up but continuing on the string of words that I thought that I have to explain every part of... my friend Ryan Swaze was filming a video and asked me if I would make breakfast on camera and he would eat double of it.
The one thing that you don't ask a recovering anorexic is to double his or her food intake. Of course the only person that knows about my past anorexia is my parents... and only my parents, not my younger sister, Bryn, not anyone else.
Anorexia was only a "Girl" disorder in 2006 when I was fifteen, I had the disorder since I was four but it took people eleven years to figure it out.
Before people start bashing my parents for being horrible parents, I have had eating problems all my life and the doctors thought it was for attention because my little sister was getting more attention than me but my mother told the doctor that I was showing all these signs long before Bryn was born and that she gives me and Bryn equal attention.
Time went on, Me and Bryn got older and Bryn was growing and it seemed like I was shrinking.
My mother didn't panic till my sister's clothes were bigger than mine. She piled more food on my plate to make herself feel better about the "A" word that is eight letters long but my parents know it and don't want to say it because they associate the word with skinny bodies, hospital stays and feeding tubes.
I can remember the day that made my parents and doctors realize what was going on. It was my fifteenth birthday.
The day was September 27th 2006. My parents had everyone over for my fifteenth birthday and everything was going well and I just passed out.
I woke up in a hospital room... my sister Bryn looked up at my parents and asked if I was going to be alright. My dad looked at her and said,
"Bryn Honey,"
He didn't make it that far though because he started to cry. My mom took over for him through her own tears,
"Bryn Darling, Sean is just...".
This was when I cut her off and said,
"Bryn, I am just sick and I need the doctors to take care of me, don't worry about me Bryn. Have fun with Mimi for you and me.
(Bryn leaves with Mimi (or Grandma)
When Bryn left the room my parents asked how I just told my sister that without making her upset.
I told them that me and Bryn have a special relationship that allows for words like that at times like this.
The next step to this was gaining weight and getting admitted into a special ward of the hospital.
To cut this long story short I've recovered and now I am twenty Seven years old and nearly twelve years sober of an eating disorder and I've just got triggered for the first time since then.
It is currently March 29th 2019 and I just made my Strawberry, Blueberry, Peanut butter and one scoop of peanut butter "Protein Shake"
To be continued
(549 words)
