MONO

two

chapter two - ava munroe

❝let's die together.❞ 

lunch was the worst and somehow still the best part of my day. lunch was the worst because of all the eating, and it was the best because of her. 

after seeing her, i more than ever wanted to leave the concrete walls of rosewater. i wanted to touch her, talk to her. but, most of all, i wanted something more than just sadness to fill my heart. looking back, maybe i didn't love her. maybe i just saw her, saw her innocence as an opportunity for me to get that something. i wanted to feel whole, and false love is the best way to get temporarily high. nonetheless, i found myself watching her, every time i had the opportunity to. 

a line of "patients" shuffled single file into the dimly lit lunchroom, cutting the thick silence of the cafeteria.  i spotted her in the incoming line, and i let myself smile for a moment. i watched as she sat down, lunch tray in hand, 

i suddenly realized i was holding my breath in hard. exhaling, i caught a whiff of the lunchroom. the cafe smelled like old food and floor wax. the scent reminded me too much of a school cafeteria. the word "school" even gave me shivers. 

my stomach rumbled with hunger but i ignored the pain. over the months, hunger had become a friend of mine. hunger was a clingy friend, who you meet at parties, and in public restrooms, who is always asking to come over, but even when you say no, they still show up at your door. but hunger is not an understanding friend. at first, when i asked him to leave, he would leave, letting me eat my food in peace. but with every meal i ate, he became insistent on staying with me just a little longer. it was for my own good. because hunger was right, i was getting too big. so i opened my arms up to him. i let him eat me, from the inside out until i was him, too.

a lengthy hour later, the nuns called us to stand up and put away our food trays. table by table, we stood up and put away our trays.

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the outside air hitting my face was a refreshing feeling, especially after smelling the lunchrooms musk for a painful hour. i looked around the courtyard, desperate to find a place to sit down. my legs felt like frozen jello.

a few moments later of scanning the courtyard, i found the girl standing by the trashcans with a shorter, paler and much younger, blonde girl by her side. now that i could see the girl's face, she was more pretty then i had imagined. she had deep tan olive skin, covered in dark freckles. her nose was a small round button, and her pink lips were full and inviting. her eyes were perfect upturned circles and a beautiful honey brown iris sat in her eyes center. i tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, before stepping forward to greet the two girls.

the two girl's eyes fell on me as i stepped closer to them. the blonde girl slimed wide, showing her ideal white teeth. her smile was like spencers smile but only feminine. the girl i had come here for tilted her head slightly to the right, like a confused puppy.

"hi," i said, putting on my sweetest voice to cover my insecurities. my voice was lightly nasally, but not high or low pitched: somewhere in the middle of insanely high and insanely low. "i'm ava." i cleared my throat, realizing i sounded like a 5-year-old trying to sound grown-up.

"hello. im vita." the short blonde girl had an accent, maybe russian, but i was unsure. it wasn't thick but apparent enough to tell me she was new to america. she stuck her hand out to me. in any other situation, this gesture would be weird, but formalities at rosewater were obscured. i shook vita's small, delicate hand, and as i pulled back she laughed. her laugh was strange, more like a cough then a laugh, but nonetheless a laugh. unsure of the joke, i turned to the girl. she was smiling too.

"i'm erin." the girls' words were like a song in my ears, echoing melodies every time she opened her mouth to speak. my smile grew wider, and hers did the same. we stared at each other for a moment, and i wondered if she was studying my features like i was doing to her.

after a moment, erin broke the silence. she opened her mouth to speak, and cocked her head to the side. "ava?" she said, as if testing how the word felt on her tongue, "ava's a pretty name."

chapter by pxetalsayshi