Inspiration - Carol Danvers Imagines

Missing In Action

A/n: contains themes of depression

Your girlfriend was dead. That's what the official report said. Missing in action. Went down in a test plane crash, body never found. As far as the world was concerned, your girlfriend was dead.

You had loved her with everything, you were as thick as thieves, so strong it even made Maria jealous at time. As a group, you had been the troublesome trio, going where no woman had gone before. You always joked that one day the three of you would either run the airforce or ruin it.

You and Carol were practically inseparable. You had been dating for 3 years at the time, having moved in together over a year ago. You knew practically everything about each other, loving every part of it. You truly believed you were soulmates and you knew she felt it to.

The sweet illusion had been ruined when she got on that damn experimental test plan with Dr Lawson. You didn't blame Lawson, she had been a wonderful mentor and had supported the three of you through every part of your journey. She even supported yours and Carol's relationship. You had mourned her almost as much as your girlfriend.

Maria had once pointed out you were the embodiment of the five stages of grief.

First, you had denied Carol's death. They hadn't found a body, they barely found the second half of her dog tag - something you cherished dearly. If they didn't find her body then they can't be sure she's dead, can they?

Second, you had been completely overtaken by anger. You missed her and it wasn't fair. You couldn't run the airforce but you couldn't ruin it either. That wasn't the plan. You'd been left behind and you didn't even have an answer. You didn't get a goodbye, you didn't get closure. You were left in a rut. It wasn't fair on you, and it pissed you off.

Third, you fell into desperation. You needed her back, no matter what, you needed her. She was your second half. You needed a goodbye, closure, anything. If you couldn't have her back forever then you could at least have her back for a minute, for a second. You would go to any lengths to have that, give anything. You tried everything and nothing worked. How could she magically vanish but there was no way for you to magically see her?

Fourth, you became deeply depressed. Maybe you didn't deserve her love anyway. Maybe this was the universe's way of giving you what you deserved, maybe this was your fate. How could you ever believe you were supposed to be happy, with someone as great as her? If she truly loved you, she would have come back to you, but she's probably off loving someone else, someone deserving, someone loving, someone perfect, but not you. You truly believed it and it hurt Maria and Monica to see you like this. Stuck in a never ending hell of your own design.

Finally, you reached acceptance. It took you 6 years to get there, but in the end you reached it. You were finally finding happiness in other things in life, catching up on everything you had missed over the last 6 years in your extreme phases. You found purpose in helping Maria raise Monica. Even if you weren't ready to date yet, you might just be one day, you were still young, you had all the time in the world to get back out there.

You were with Maria one day, helping her work on the plane parked in front of the both of you. Maria, on the other hand, kept pointing out that you weren't actually helping, just making stupid jokes to Monica whenever you felt like it. You would merely tell her that you were providing supportive comments to her and her ever so cool daughter.

Maria ultimately sent you inside to fetch her a drink as well as some snacks for Monica, anything to get rid of you for a few minutes and have some peace and quiet. You couldn't really blame her for wanting rid of you, even if it was just for a few minutes. Fortunately, you planned to kick the jokes up into full gear once you returned, in your own sick and twisted form of payback.

'Alright, Captain Trouble and the kind gentle mother of Captain Trouble, I have your wonderful sustenance so come over and eat and/or drink up!' you shouted out, walking out onto the lawn. You looked up as you shouted to get the full use of your lungs, hoping to annoy them with your volume. It wasn't till you brought your gaze down that you realised how awkward the situation you were walking in on actually was.

You had to check you were still awake and alive when you saw the scene in front of you. Your hands shook uncontrollably, causing you to tighten your grip on the tray within your hands as to not spill or drop anything. Your knuckles went white as your grip got constantly tighter, matching your constant fear at what you could see. What you could see was your dead girlfriend standing by the plane. Carol was back.

Your knees felt weak. Your throat was uncharacteristically dry, preventing any words from coming out to form jokes or sarcasm in anyway.

While you stood in complete fear of what was in front of you, Monica moved to your side, giving you a hug. Even at her age Monica knew that this image was breaking your heart. Carol had returned, but it had to be after you'd moved on, after you'd recovered. She tried to comfort you while you simply stared on.

Eventually, the silence was broken by Maria speaking up from her own spot by the plane.

'Let's get you inside' she stated, her voice surprisingly calm. While it came off as directed towards Carol, you knew it was also directed at yourself. You were practically ready to collapse, a seat would very much help.

Monica took you by the hand and led you towards the building you had just exited to reach the group, Maria quickly catching up to the two of you.

'I know what your thinking Y/n', Maria started 'but let's just take it step by step and work through it logically, okay?'

'yeah', you replied, your voice was quite hoarse in that moment. You certainly had a bunch of questions about where the hell Carol had been, why she's only turning up now and whether she still loved you. The faint sparkle in her eyes as you both made eye contact as you walked inside gave you a little hope that she may just still have those feelings. You knew you certainly did.