It

4/10/19 ~ Understanding It

It feels better with the song

I found it, hiding. It was hiding, pressed against the wall. Shoved in the darkest corner but i found her.
It- I mean it.
It didnt have a name, only a  thing that would come and go. Maybe it was a boy? A girl? Both or nothing?
Possibly one or the other depending on the day.
It gets afraid of questions, if you find the courage to ask them.
Scared because all it has seen, all it has heard.
Its found in the darkest corner but it comes out at times like this. It feels like a bug crawling, honestly. If you just sit back and let it take over, you'll feel bad later. But you'll be normal soon. You can only feel it now, how can you feel it?
Where is it for you.
I think we all have one, maybe?
I wish she would stay all day. And i wish the tears would come out.
Its a girl, i know.
I feel it. She is a she.
Trapped inside the invisible box, she tries to get out only to fall back down once it stops.
Its probably unclear to you what im saying, what im talking about.
But who's to say you dont have one, once again i think we all do.
We do.
We have one.
You have it.
I have it.
Its here, shes here.
When you need her.
Call for her like your life depends on it and she will come.
But almost everyday shes sad, sadder than normal.
Take care of her.
Stop. Do it for her.
You need it. She needs it.
Stoping doing those stupid things at night.
Stop talking to people you dont know.
Online,
Thats where you go wrong.
It all started here, steemed from this. This stupid phone, these stupid words.
She wants you to stop.
She needs you to stop.
Listen to her.
Listen to her.
LISTEN TO HER.

You listen.
For a day.
Only a day.
Then your back to it.
Your old ways.
Your wasting your life, your growing up to fast.
Stop.

Think about it. Is this what you want?
Doing this now may feel good. But in the future, think about it.
It wont help.
All this staying up late, doing stuff you arent supposed to. It needs to stop.

Try to stop.
You wont.
You wont do it.
Not for her sake?
Not for yours?
Not for your parents?
Your siblings?
Nobody?
Nobody.

Nobody can help you know its only you and her togther as a team. Pull yourselves out. Out of the hole, out of darkness.
Try.
Try for me.
For yourself.
For her.
For us.
We are one.
All of us.
Try for us.
For us.

We love you. Take care of her. Shes sad, she will always be. And that's okay, just make sure it doesnt get worse. And also, take care of yourself.
You deserve it.
We all do.