Episode.

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[{[{T.W. T.W}]}]

T.W. this was written while I was mid panic attack this imagine mentions, and deals with depression and anxiety, and is kind of based around a panic/anxiety attack as well as trying to come down from one. with certain topics of mentions that may trigger some. read at your own will please.

other than that, enjoy the thought of harry bringing you comfort and solace in times when you really need it. :)

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(Y/N'S P.O.V)

I sit here crying my eyes out for reasons I don't even know. Maybe it's the depression. Maybe it's the anxiety. Maybe it's the past abuse. Maybe it's the yelling they use to do. Maybe it's just not being good enough. I mean honestly at the end of the day what and am I contributing to this world. I'm not needed here. If I left tomorrow, just disappeared, the universe wouldn't notice. Nobody would. Nobody ever does and it hurts. Am I that broken that everyone's just given up on me? Am I that worthless?

I wish he was here. I need him here, but he's got stuff to do because the world needs him just as much and no matter what happens I don't think he needs me. I think I'm hurting him by being me. I think I bring him down, but here I am calling him again because no matter what he thinks I need him right now. I'm hurting and I just need him.

But just as the phone reaches the the last ring I know it's going straight to voice mail but at this point I have to let him know. Once I hear the beep I speak, through my tear and broken voice.

"Harry... I love you. I need you...like a lot. I know your busy and that what you're doing is important which is why I feel like shit for calling you but... I needed you to know that I love you and... and I wish I could be better, because that's what you deserve. I'm nothing. I'm unwanted baggage. I'm a burden you shouldn't have to carry. I'm not needed in this world. And... I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm broken and hurt but... I love you and I need you and I'm sorry." By the time I hang up I can barely see the screen as I throw it on the floor and curl up into a ball on the couch and continue to cry.

My eyes are tender burning, stinging, they hurt at the corners and underneath from rubbing the tears away to vigorously. I just wish it would all go away. Why out of all people did I end up like this. What did I do to deserve this hurt this pain. I know I'm a screw up. I know I'm a piece of shit but there's nothing I can do about it. I just want it to go away.

I want to go away.

I carefully make my way upstairs and enclose myself in the bathroom. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing up here but I just continue to do the same I did downstairs, dropping to the floor and pulling my knees to my chest I bury my head between them and continue to sob. Letting my stupid emotions take over. Listening to all my insecurities taunt me and fuck with my mind, my most vulnerable spot. The one place people have toyed with and have poked and prodded at to break me and strip me of my worth. All the shit that I go through, that I've been through its taken a toll on me one that's too big to fix. I'm way past that. Who can fix someone like me. Who would want to. I've drowned so deep that nobody dare try to reach the bottem of the lake to pull me out.

I must've been so obsorbed in my own painful mind to notice that the front door had been opened and now the bathroom door. I quickly fix my gaze to Harry to see him standing there with tears in his eyes and falling down his face.

I don't say anything just bow my head down again because seeing him vulnerable like makes me cry even harder.

Before I could even snap my fingers felt two strong arms wrap around my shoulders and two legs wrap around my bottem half and pull my right into his body, pulling me so close that I could feel his hot breath hit my neck as he nestles his face there holding me as tight as possible as if trying to protect me from all the hurt I carry.

"Don't you ever leave me a voicemail like that again" We're the first words he muttered into my neck through a broken voice. I don't answer, I haven't even changed my position I just nuzzle closer and cry harder.

"You are wanted. You are needed. I need you. What are you thinking that... that if you just went away all will be fine, that I'd be fine. I'd die. I would die if you ever left... I need you like one needs air to breath." He moves his head so that his chin rests atop mine after quickly pressing a lingering kiss to the top of my head and one to my temple before continuing.

"I know it's hard to deal with it all but I'll be there to tell you your worth... I have no idea what your going through and I could never understand, no one could but all I know is that... I can be there. Sure your hearts been broken but it means it's one that's been loved, that I love.

You may be broken but everything can be fixed, and I will personally spend all the time I need to glue your pieces back together. You may be hurt, but all hurt things heal, and I will help you do that no matter what. You are no burden that I carry but you... unfortunately you carry one and I know you've been hurt over and over but that's why I'm here. I'm here to grab your hand-" He pauses to fulfill the action, by grabbing my hand and entwining our fingers and giving them a small squeeze the he continues.

"-Pull you up and help you find your way through the storm. I'm here to share the burden you carry because I love you. Fuck, I love you so much and you deserve everything. This is just another episode, s'all it it. Sometimes it all gets a little too much, but you gotta realize the soon the fog will clear up. I'm here I always will be no matter what you say." He takes another pause to kiss my head again

"I'm scared just as much as you are because I need you. I love you and I will help you. We will get through this. It's just a bad day and sure you get them more then others but it's just a bad day it'll pass. Well get through this I believe in us and I know we will I need you to, too. We will get through this. Understand" I'm still crying by the end of his rant but I'm not sure if it's tears from his heart warming words or from my own pain. Probably both.

There's a moment of silence before he speaks again because he expected an answer from me. "Understand" He urges. I hesitate for a moment but eventually nod my head in compliance. He pulls me impossibly closer to him and I decide to wrap my arms around his waist.

"I love you Harry"

"I love you too angel. We'll get through this you and I. Together, always"

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⏰ Last updated: Feb 04, 2021 ⏰

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