paracosm

[ 76 ] LETTER.

PARACOSM

KTH + JJK | LETTER.

"taehyung? there's a letter for you in the mailbox. it's from... jeongguk?" jimin says softly as he came inside the bedroom. taehyung stood up in shock.

"what? from jeongguk?" taehyung asks.

"yeah. you know him?" jimin asks, giving taehyung the letter, "i'll just leave you alone now. i think this seems private since the front says 'read it alone'"

jimin left the room and taehyung sighs shakily before opening the letter.

dear taehyungie,

if you're reading this, i'm probably dead by now. i know that it seems a bit like a shock to you but i hope you won't blame yourself for this. i know it was my fault for saying those disgusting words at you but i hope you'll forgive me by now.

remember when you were blind, and you're asking me if i have ever wanted to just leave this country? my answer would've been yes but i didn't want to leave you.

i wanted to leave because of my parents. they make my life a living hell because of how much pressure they have been giving me since birth. i didn't want to inherit my father's business. i wanted to start my own little business and gain money from that.

but enough about that. i want to talk about the time i said those words at you; i said that because i was afraid. my father was a homophobic person. my mother left when i was a child because my father would always beat her up. he always comes home drunk and that was her final straw. when my mother left, my father suddenly realized how much he missed her that he started blaming me for her death. he started beating me but he wasn't drunk. he beat me up because... i actually don't know why.

when you rejected my proposal to you, i felt crushed. but i knew that was going to happen because i've been bad to you. but when you got married to jimin, i knew i didn't stand a chance. jimin has been kind to you ever since he began taking care of you; he would always apologize whenever he did something wrong while i don't. he would always do things that make you happy.

when it was two weeks before your marriage with jimin, i was surprised to see an invitation for me. i didn't know why you wanted me to come. i'm sorry for not coming. i didn't want you to see me crying because of how much i miss hanging out with you. fuck, i miss everything about you. but now i know why i can't be with you.

no, scratch that, i did come. i came very last minute. i came when you guys kissed. i stood outside of the venue because i knew how much it would hurt me when i see you happy with another man that isn't me.

when the party was over, i wanted to leave but seokjin found me. he asked me why i wasn't staying for the afterparty but i lied, saying that i had stuff to do at home. he believed me and waved me goodbye.

i went back to busan quickly because my father didn't want me to go to "gay" marriage. but when i reached home, he was furious, knowing that i escaped. he was so angry that he ordered the maids to not make my food. he wanted me to starve.

the next day, there was a girl waiting for me in the living room. my father introduced me "kindly" to her. i found out her name is rosie and that she's half korean. her parents are filthy rich and i guess this is what you call arranged marriage.

a few weeks had passed and nothing has really changed between me and rosie. i found out that she has a crush on another guy but her parents wouldn't let her. i was fine with that because i was in love with you. i've known that i was depressed ever since i got "together" with rosie. i feel so miserable every day and it hurts because i have to fake being happy around people.

i don't know why i feel so hurt writing this but i wanted you to remember something from me when i'm gone. i hope you keep this letter as something to remember me by. i know that you might blame yourself for my death but don't, please. i hope you know that i did this so that you don't have to worry about meeting me ever again.

i hope you know that i still love you no matter what, okay? oh fuck, my tears are dripping, shit.

i guess it's time for me to go. for real.

i love you, k̶i̶m̶park taehyung.

goodbye.

jeon jeongguk.

taehyung sobbed as he read the last words from jeongguk. he can't believe this. his first love has... died. killed himself because he's depressed.

"j-jiminie..." taehyung whimpers as he stepped out of the room. jimin was waiting in the living room and his ears perked up when he hears taehyung crying.

"baby... what's wrong?" jimin asks softly as he caressed taehyung's waist when the boy sat down on his lap.

"h-he killed himself... he killed h-himself because he's d-depressed and he ne-never told me ab-about it..." taehyung mumbled sadly as tears fell from his eyes.

unfortunately, jimin was watching the news when jeongguk came into the view.

"jeon jeongguk. the child of jeon minjae found dead in a park near a tree that has carvings of 'KTH + JJK forever'. time of death was assumed to be 05:42 AM when the park was closed." the announcer says and this made taehyung cry even more.

"shh... he's going to be okay. he's living peacefully already. he doesn't need to be in pain. he's fine now." jimin reasoned but taehyung shook his head.

"i-i should've asked why he said those words to me... maybe i would've understood that and we would still be friends and he's going to be f-fine..." taehyung cries and hugs jimin tightly.

jimin sighs, "don't make yourself the bad guy, taetae. it's his father's fault, i assume? i've heard lots of bad things about that guy."

"c-can we go to h-his funeral? i-i want to say my la-last goodbye to him..." taehyung asks.

"of course, bun. anything to make you happy." jimin says.

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a/n: the amount of angst in this imagine i think is good enough. but if you guys think we need a part two, then i would gladly make it for yall. i hope yall like this.

if yall hate/dislike vmin, please dont attack me.