Splatoon Oneshots

Army X Reader: "Everybody Wants To Rule the World"

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Pairing: army (m) x reader (n/a)

Title: "Everybody Wants To Rule the World"

A/N: Here goes my first one! I've had this idea for a little while. I don't know why, but Army is like my ultimate bb. I hope it's not as crappy as I fear it might be...

~3rd POV~

Army had finally did it. After reaching his breaking point, he actually showed up for once in his life. The moment he walked into the Albacore Hotel, there was no point of return. After all, Aloha's parties are things one doesn't necessarily miss. But why did he choose to go? There was no way he would show to something like this when there was surely work to be done on those overly exaggerated manuals.

Oh? There (s/he) was, dancing to the weird music playing. That sly grin of (her's/his) was enough to make just about anyone go insane. Even cephalopods like Emporer would admit that they were cool - scratch that, the coolest. The calming aura, half-lidded eyes, and a cute smile was enough to make Army squirm in anxiety. It was as if they knew each and every button that would send him into outer space with bliss.

However, Army faced a huge dilemma. (Y/N) was an essential substitute for his team, and there was no way he could risk losing (him/her) because of some puny crush. What a shame this crush was as big as his pride.

~Army's POV~

Wait - (s/he's) walking over here?! Where are my manuals when you need them?! Should I stand up from my seat? Oh Cod, I'm staring, aren't I? That's ok, just look calm. I wonder what (s/he's) drinking. How good does (his/her) lips taste- bad thoughts, bad!

*cue song; that means play it. Just put the lyrics where you see fit.*

"Woah dude, do you not want me over here? That look is pretty vicious, and I don't know if I'm welcome. Oh! If it's about me not showing up to practice yesterday, I do believe I sent you a text about how I had previous commitments, not that my presence matters much. After all, I'm just a sub, man. You know how I ride solo." Carp. I'm not mad at you! I just don't want to like you! Oh, (Y/N) I wish we could be together. You'd understand a lot more then.

"Don't worry about it. You can do with some studying of my manuals more, then. Just because you're a substitute, it doesn't mean you're not important. To me, you've got everything a captain could dream for in a (F/W) main. I'll try to get you some more playing time, if you'd like?" Ha! Great save. Now, please leave me. Or don't. Shoot, I don't know...

"Army, what's bugging you? You seem more... agitated than usual. Although I do accept your mercy graciously."

"Mercy? That's not what this is, (Y/N). It's rather hard to explain, other than I'm just trying to do my job as a good team captain."

"Honestly, you're not a good team captain." Well there goes my heart. Yup, straight down the gutter... pewwww... Is it too late to start eating the curry? Carp, it's all gone! Stupid Goggles- "You're the best team captain. Couldn't ask for a better one. You seem like you're in need of a good refreshment. Wanna try?"

Shitshitshitshitshitshit oh my Cod, what am I supposed to do?! I can't just share spit with (him/her)! Not to mention I smell something a little bit too much like alcohol.

"It's really good trust me. I don't drink often, but this is the bomb my guy. Please have a sip? Pretty please, cherry on top?" Oh, that's because it is alcohol.