Exodus

Her lips

June 3, 2014

"Cher, What are you doing here?"
I can't stop staring at the girl on Ruby's lap. My heart is now in my throat and I feel like I can't breath. The worst part is, he doesn't move, he doesn't push her off of him. He just sits there and stares at me, without a care in the world.

"I don't know, I thought I would surprise you guys. I thought about it after you left, after you guys left."
My voice is soft, I know he's shocked that I'm here. He probably knows I wanna cry but, I won't. Not in front of all these people.

When he finally gets off the couch he nears me. I don't back away I look up at him and force a smile.

"I promise that, this-"
He points at him and then to the stranger that was once sitting on him.

"It's nothing."
He finishes, I stop and think for a second.

"And apparently neither is this."
I whisper, pointing from me to him. He doesn't say anything instead he bites the inside of his lip and stares at me.

"Cher, please."
I hold my hand up for him to stop talking.

"Lemme take your bags shawty."
Scrim interrupts Ruby and I. I don't look away from Ruby's glare when I reply.

"No that's fine, we're probably gonna head to a hotel or something."
Ruby squints his brows and lightly shakes his head.

"Hell nah, fuck that shit. You're staying here."
Scrim picks my bags off the floor and starts to walk.

"No, honestly Scott, I think we're going."
I finally break my gaze from Ruby's and turn to Shyanne who is standing against the wall awkwardly.

"I said no."
Scott says firmly.

"Not in this part of town."
He adds, I give in and go to follow Scott but Ruby grabs my wrist. My head snaps to him, this trip was ruined in the span of 30 minutes. I yank my hand out of his and follow scrim.

"How long you plan on stayin'?"
He places my bag on the bed and walks to me.

"Not long."
Is all I say, he looks to the door then grabs my hands in his.

"I'm sorry Cher, but honest, he's hella barred out and they didn't even fuck. She came with Gus and they've been making out but that's it. We've been chillin and making beats."
I shrug and bite my lip trying not to cry.

"It doesn't matter Scott, she's here because I wasn't. He told me he loved me, I got enough games from Max and I don't need them from my best friend too. I knew this was gonna happen.

"He told you he loves you?"
He looks shocked, I mean I was too. Ruby has only been in love with one other girl. Lesly stone, she was beautiful, long brown hair, hazel eyes. Her smile could kill, she always said the right things. She never cared that Ruby hung out with me so much.

She was a cool girl, we were about seventeen or eighteen. They met through a friend of a friend. They were complete polar opposites, Ruby liked weed and rap and Lesly liked too many showers and reading and we know Ruby doesn't do either of those. I don't know what it was but he saw something in her and he fell so hard. I could never compete to Lesly.

"Yeah, Scott, he told me he loves me."
I try to blink away my tears but instead they fall down my cheeks. He wipes them away quickly.

"Nah shawty don't even cry. You need to talk to Ruby and clear this shit up."
Before I can say anything there's another voice in the room.

"I agree."
Ruby calls out as he leans against the door frame. Scott gives me a little smile and stalks out.

"It's rude to eavesdrop."
I mark crudely rolling my eyes.

"I'm seriously not going to explain this any further. That was nothing, you're trippin' over what? Nothing. She was all up on my dick we didn't fuck and I wasn't planning on it either. I told you I love you, take that shit cause I meant it and it hasn't fucking changed and it's not going to."
I can't help but smile through tears. His words are rude but I know how he means them.

"I can't compete with her Ruby. I can't be her, I'm sorry."
The tears come back.

"What the fuck? I don't want you to be some random hoe."
He cocks his head and grabs my hand.

"You know I don't mean the random hoe."
I roll me eyes, he takes a deep breath letting it out slow.

"I don't want her Cher, on everything, I was falling for you while I was with her."
His words don't bring me comfort cause, if he could fall for me while being with someone; Then what makes me think he couldn't easily fall for someone else while being with me.

"We talked about this Ruby, how I don't wanna ruin our friendship."
I lick my lips and I see him look down at them then back at my eyes.

"The feelings are out now Cher, if we cut it now, then our friendship is already ruined."
My heart sinks at this. He is right we can't just say 'sike I was kidding I'm not actually in love with you.' The truth is out and that makes me even more afraid. I can't help the tears that fall down my cheeks.

"What? Why are you crying?"
He grabs me wrapping me against his chest. I stay for a second with a million thoughts rushing around my brain but then I pull away.

"I knew this was gonna happen!"
I cry, his eyebrows furrow.

"What?
He grabs my hands pulling me closer to him. When I try to back up he tightens his grip.

"I didn't want this!"
I shout.

"Cher please stop."
Panic sets in his voice.

"No Ruby, I told you if this goes wrong than our friendship is over! You promised me that it wouldn't you said that if it didn't work then we would laugh about it in a few years!"
I can't see from the tears flooding my eyes but I blink them away.

"Nobody, is going to ruin this for us baby."
He tries to look in my eyes but I look away which doesn't matter cause his head tilts with mine and his eyes meet mine.

"You are Rubes, you can't stay away from these groupies."
He rolls his eyes.

"I wasn't gonna fuck her."
He defends himself.

"Ruby."
I huff through tears.

"Her lips on yours and sitting on your lap, that was all it took."
I yank away from him, this time making sure he doesn't grab me again. I snatch my suitcase from the floor and rush out of the room.