FRICTION

Ch. 9: Expectations

-Eric-

I tiredly rubbed at the back of my neck, attentively kneading down on the tense areas with slow, circular motions. Lamentably, my feeble attempts to settle down weren't working for shit... and neither was studying. I squinted my eyes up at the bright screen in front of me, letting out a disinterested yawn before clicking onto the next slide.

Over the last few hours, I'd made a handful of slides' worth of progress in terms of reviewing my notes. But that was about it. Fuck. I'd known being tired might be an issue, but I hadn't quite expected it to take such a toll.

I wiped at my forehead, clearing some of the sweat from my brow before releasing a tired sigh, glaring over at the fan and contemplating turning it on before settling for tolerating the uncomfortable stuffiness of the room.

I focused back on the screen, my breathing even.

My half-shut eyes were following the words, but it felt like my mind wasn't actually processing any of the information. I tried saying the words aloud, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. I understood it, really, but it all felt so far away. Like the words were swimming in a void, just out of my grasp. They felt so familiar in the moment, as the linked ideas poured out of my mouth in a soft murmur, but after...

After that, there was nothing.

I reached for my energy drink, groaning in annoyance when I lifted the open can and realized there was nothing left. I shook the can back and forth before placing it back down, dreading the night ahead.

That was my second can as well, so anything else was more or less out of the question. Even though there was for sure a third cold one in the fridge, which would be so satisfying to drink.

"I can't," I muttered, though I sounded disingenuous even to my own ears.

Although, if I suddenly did die of a cardiac arrest, then I'd definitely be able to avoid both the exam and working at the law firm. And unless Shawn was willing to rip open the gates of purgatory and chase me down into the river Lethe just to confront me again, then I'd finally be rid of him too. Because there's where I'd be, floating endlessly.

"Kind of a win-win," I muttered contemplatively, even as I focused back on the screen. I was usually pretty good at studying, but there was something about today that I couldn't... shake.

My eyebrows furrowed further as I read the first line, flat out confused. Then, of course, I clicked back and re-read the slide before, scoffing to myself before clicking forward once more.

Yeah, nah. It wasn't working.

I'd been studying for a few hours now, and it was becoming increasingly clear that I was reaching some kind of wall. I debated setting a thirty-minute timer and taking a nap, but I'd likely sleep right through it and wake up in the morning, all sweaty and disoriented. And frankly, I simply didn't have that kind of time.

And so, the only other option was to tackle the issue head-on. I grabbed the nearly empty water bottle that was on the desk and sighed before uncapping it, pouring some water onto my cupped hand and splashing my face. No hesitation.

"F-fuck," I gasped while wiping it away with the hem of my shirt, already more alert. I chuckled under my breath, doing it once more for good measure.

This time, I dried my face with the sleeve of the jacket I'd set on the back of my chair.

Ok. Progress. Now, what else was keeping me preoccupied?