Prologue

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Three

Two

One

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Hayley Williams was not one to stall. God help her she never intended to. As she held the orange microphone between her fingers, her mind raced back and forth to form the appropriate sentences. All eyes were fixated on her.

The stage lights made her glimmer. She was dressed in sweat. Strands of her fiery scarlet hair which once upon a time, used to hang past her shoulders, but now didn't recede past her neck, stuck glued to her wet face. Her black eyeliner drooled down her moist, salty cheeks. She tasted the saltiness of her own skin waste product. Acting on impulse, she wiped her lips with the back of her palm and tasted more salt. She could have sworn that all this sweat was because she was nervous.

On the 9th of November in the year of our Lord 2013, Hayley Williams found herself in The Patriot Centre in Fairfax, Virginia doing something that she would never do; stalling.

Quickly and finally collecting her scattered thoughts in order, she raised the microphone to her lips and began to speak. One could admire the girl however. She always came prepared.

On every similar night, she would say something inspirational to her eagerly listening peers. She considered it her duty. And she could truly say that every word formed with the passion that was in her soul. But today that passion was absent, replaced by something else. Curiosity. There was also Hope. But only she would know that her words flowed with emptiness. What she was intent on was scanning the crowd. She was waiting the entire night for an opportune moment to make that happen; a period of time where she was not occupied by jittery movement or head bobbing and head-banging. Not to mention her fucking fringe that always bounced over her eyes. How could she ever focus on the same patch of crowd for more than two seconds? And all the lights were focused on the stage, which left the rest of the amphitheatre to darkness.

However, now was her time. Her gaze waded through the faces like a scavenger. Thorough as much as her eyes allowed her to be. She had no clue where she should be focusing, only knew whom she was looking for.

She mused on where he could be. In the far back? But it was dark there and surely she couldn't find him back there. Maybe he's in the crowd facing the podium. That would be a stroke of luck for her. To be fair, the circumstance of him being here is a bigger stroke of luck. Indeed. A downright miracle in her opinion.

Although she never knew for certain that he came; if said miracle did happen. But she had hope in her, if that even mattered. She hoped that he cared enough to come and see her. Of course she knew that he had no obligation to, considering the questionable past between the two.

As her eyes darted from face to face, she realized that her time was expiring rather quickly; faster than she'd prefer. And to her dismay, it did. And Hayley Williams had not found what she was searching for. And now she worried that she never will.

Maybe he never did come. Does that mean that he finally stopped caring? Maybe he was oblivious to today's event, or maybe he had more pressing matters. Or Maybe he simply erased her from his life once and for all. Her mind mused these thoughts.

But she reassured herself, he did care. Let the fates stop him from coming today, he would still care, she told herself

But there still was the other dreaded reason.

It probed her thoughts.

A missed opportunity. A chance to repair the damage, a chance to apologize and an excuse to look into those eyes again; they were fleeting.

So was the time in her hands. Of course it burdened her troubled mind. Her speech was over.

It was time for music.

And she knew that she couldn't dwell on him now. Her decision was already made. And she was very good at that. Never did she allow herself to drown in her worries. She only let it take hold for a while, and then she'd take action. Distraction. It wasn't always a permanent solution. But it always boiled down to fight or flight. And she was tenacious for the win.

She was a celebrity. She had the whole world at her heels. She was Hayley Williams, who couldn't afford to mull over losses or despair.

Don't worry, she didn't.

Why let old ghosts out when you can lock them in, and throw away the key? (so go get your shovel and we'll dig a deep hole and bury the castle bury the castle)

The crowd of boys and girls eagerly awaited for her to start. The mind meld. She was good at that too; capturing all attention, making them follow her every word. She was the puppet master.

Although she did feel a pang of guilt as she buried him under her needs. A process that wasn't unfamiliar to her. Erasing him. Denying him that place next to her heart. He deserved that place for all she knew. She knew that before long she would surrender him into oblivion, along with the guilt. She was at cross paths with that; unsure of her own emotions. And she didn't dwell long to discover.

She kicked herself into action, and the crowd loved it. And so did she.

Well I got absolutely nowhere with this chapter

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