Anthropologically speaking
Thriving only in that small salsa bubble found in dimly lit salsa clubs, the salsa diva (lat: dancus et dancus…et dancus) looks and feels out of place in the outside world. Her bright plumage and sparkly tops displayed to coax even the most reticent of salsa males (dancus et looksus) away from corners and bars where he sometimes huddles in groups just watching (lat: v.irritatus). Clothes are an important part of the dancing ritual, chosen to attract the opposite sex, make them dance then brutally discard them for another male. This ritual lasts approximately 7 minutes unless it’s a really short track.
During daylight, salsa divas merge themselves into the population at large, dressing sometimes normally, with only an occasional smattering of sequins, or a floaty sleeve visible to the naked eye.
However, to the observant there are tell-tale signs in other natural but not so obvious habitats:
Changing Rooms: salsa divas can often be found doing mambos and Cuban turns to check for dress and skirt swishability. The more seasoned will also check for width of skirt swish and height, (the parachute effect) to check whether a thong is a good idea or not. (they never are, but it doesn’t stop salsa dancers taking that very real risk.)
Sometimes they also check jeans for the same, because they can’t help it.
Shimmies are often undertaken to ensure that tops stay up and cover distracting bits. Doesn’t always work.
A sure indication that a dancer is on a shopping spree is
a long and disgruntled queue outside changing rooms; the pitter-patter of mamboing feet seen in the gap between the changing room curtain and floor
At night: on leaving the club, exposure to fresh air sometimes makes the salsa diva forget that she has not changed out of her dance shoes, and as a result they can often be seen sliding to their cars on soles not designed for the brutal surfaces of an actual outside pavement.(lat. Slippus twittus)
Finally, clothes aside, the salsa diva can also be discovered in offices, shops, houses and parks wiggling her bottom in time to the music, sadly constantly going on in her head.
Attention Seeking Clothing
I walk around in my own little film set:
Sometimes I am Cyd Charrise, (but with very short legs) wafting around in my floaty dresses, occasionally getting the bits sucked into the fans, which ruins the effect, really…
Sometimes I am Madonna in my lovely Basque – I cannot breathe or sit down, and it makes my eyes pop a bit due to the pressure on my waist…but I lean against walls very elegantly indeed
I am occasionally Doris Day, but that doesn’t go well with salsa
Sometimes I am me, and wear jeans, but I get a bit bored frankly…
And once me and my friend sneaked out of my house because we didn’t want my visiting parents to see what we were wearing.
Now I haven’t done THAT for years!!
I love salsa…..
From www.chrispenhall.co.uk
