Harry Potter and the Philosophers Chamber

Safety Briefing

Welcome to Potato-Land!

Before you commence into the realm of carbohydrate delight, there are certain things that the tourist-office of Spuds would like to make you aware of.

The following story will contain mature themes, strong language, violence and possibly other things that are not suitable for young travellers. It is not the authors intention to purposely offend or upset anyone. So if at any point you feel that this story is not for you, then please speak to the staff at hand and they will help you to find the nearest safety exit.

At times there will be humour and if the author has done her job properly, there will also be scenes of tears, angst and sadness. At the end though the only purpose for the existence of potato land is entertainment and a creative outlet for a nerdy grown-ass woman.

The author does not own any of the characters, story line or premise connected to J.K Rowling or Harry Potter. That honour belongs to the patron saint of Potato-land Sister Joanne Rowling.
Please also be aware that the national language of Potato-Land is British-English and therefore there might be terms that are highly unfamiliar.

Now that the safety briefing is over, please proceed to the story and enjoy yourself.

Thank you!

Tourist-Officer Dorcas Hardcastle.
(Potato-farmer of the 5th order and lead french-fry beauty pageant judge)

(Serious author note - Possibly a lot of things won't make sense to you dear reader, and that's ok because sometimes life is like that.)

UPDATE:
It has come to our attention that the individual known as JK Rowling, has participated in some highly questionable behaviour and has released statements, which do NOT agree and represent the views of the land of Potatoes. Therefore the Ministry of Spuds and Church of the Fry, has decided to revoke her Sainthood. While it is acknowledged that the original universe of Potter has its origins within her mind, the question does exist is it possible to separate and appreciate the art separately from the artist? The Potter universe doesn't introduce entirely new concepts to the literature, folklore and history of magic and fantasy. The ministry of the Potato-Arts believes that the world of Potter has contributed many amazing, beautiful and inspirational ideas to millions of people, and that can be celebrated.

However, yet again - we would like to make it very clear that the personal views of JK Rowling are hers alone, and no one in the kingdom of Spuds shares them.
All positive identities, individuals and lifestyles, are celebrated and cherished in our kingdom. The citizens of Spud, are allies of all and here, ALL are welcome. The Church of Fry also has in its top mission statement - that the most important thing in the world is Love. In a world filled with hatred, we must all be beacons of love, acceptance, patience and empowerment. We will always pray for those who are lost and filled with fear, and hope that one day compassion and knowledge can replace those forlorn former attributes.

Thank you for taking them time to read this,
The President of Potato Land,
Henri Hjalmar Lukas Kelly Von de Braun (8th of his name)