30 reasons why - Roger Taylor

-REASON TWENTY TWO-

June 28th, 1979.

She makes him nervous. Every single day.

From the moment he met her to opening the door of their home and throwing his backpack on the couch and rushing to the bedroom, Roger was plagued with thoughts of Rosie, and he just couldn't expel them.

They run through his mind like a rush of blood to the head. Of course the majority is of his love for her, but he can't help but to think when they are apart—is Rosie alive?

He is scared of her capabilities and her unexpected aura around her. He is scared that maybe one day, she will actually leave him. Or that one day, he will come home and she'll never come back. It's the feeling of losing her that makes Roger scared—he's been so incredibly close to it one time too many.

Rosie is this beautiful and alluring woman with a troubled upbringing, she is the center of Roger's life, and his purpose. She is one of many eye-catchers in London with a part of her rough childhood still attached to her on a leash, but she can only endure so much.

The whole story of Rosie Spiljak is only half told. She hasn't been okay since she was maybe eleven or twelve, and she overthinks to the point where she is on the brink of tears. Her nightmares are always about her mother, Vjekoslava, with the alcohol and abuse...it's too much. All of this, but she still has not gone to a therapist because she thinks that her story makes her look like an attention seeker.

She cries often. Tears falling from her eyes as Roger holds her on the couch, his hand wiping them away as he mumbles words of comfort—she feels like a crybaby. Also, she is too stubborn and emotional, and she knows that! She knows that maybe, she could be a little less mean and judgmental, and sometimes she wished she still didn't have the thoughts of seventeen year old-Rosie stuck in her head like some kind chant.

Because in real life, she is still war-torn and scarred. Desolation wipes over her in the most fragile moments, pushing her back to square one and she's on her knees crying for mercy from all the build-up lately.

She makes Roger nervous.

The way she is sometimes silent at dinners to the sad eyes in the early morning, Roger is scared of what she is thinking about. At times, he looks at her, admiring her as she looks down at the table in feeling of despair, and he feels concerned about her.

He knows she is capable of so many things—following in her alcoholic mother's footsteps, breaking up with him, suicide, and so much more that he scared of everything about Rosie Spiljak.

When she left him on the day of their argument, he immediately regretted it. What if Rosie really lost it now? What if Rosie jumped off—What if I really lost her? He was stupid enough to catch a last-minute flight to Norfolk. He hadn't slept the night before he left, busy pacing in front of refrigerator with his hands tugging at the strands of his hair.

And with her soft voice on the other side of the line last night, Roger thought he would finally be able to go to sleep.

He was wrong.

Turning and turning, shifting around in his bed for hours until the sun rose from the horizon, signaling for him to come back to London. Only God knows when the last time he's actually had a good night's sleep.

Roger spent the entire flight from Norfolk to London writing a paper on 100 Reasons to Stay. Because even in her deepest despair, she can't seem to find one.

He knows that there are articles about the very same topic, but he thinks that his is the absolute best.

When he arrives home with paper in his hand and he can't wait to give it to Rosie. He wants to see her smile for the first time in what seemed like forever and give her a huge bear hug with kisses all over her face.