Life Eternal

Chapter VIII - The Day Death Gave You Life...

The world around you plunged into darkness once mournful eyes vanished behind heavy lids, the tears that Pelle's words had planted in your vision aching to be cried.

A futile sacrifice, solely built upon hope, once more gone sere…

How often you had dreamed of such an encounter, had created a scenario like this in your head & lived through it as if it was actually happening, allowing your mind to depart from reality & travel back in time several decades for the sake of saving him from this cruel fate life had bestowed upon his soul, notwithstanding his persistent claims that none other than he himself had chosen this path.

Your hand trembled violently in his grasp even as you squeezed his own as to ensure that he wouldn't let go again, the roaring storms outside growing more & more distant. Mother nature's battle cry was far from fading, but her voice had audibly shifted in tune.

At last Pelle had put aside his indignation, was now well-nigh at peace with himself & the world. It was beyond any doubt that he had taken away most of your fears, fully replaced the emptiness within your heart with beautiful, cherishable memories of an encounter that had never truly taken place - all of it by simply sharing those dreadful moments with you in this dream inside a dream.

And yet, your desperate efforts & pleas had been for naught, for his earthly doom was irreversibly sealed. These tears you shed, the pain you bled - it was all too real, as was his past; a past that you could only accept, not change.

That undying desire to respond with your heart & not your mind, it was still as strong as before. Yet, even if you were to answer No - would it even matter anymore at all?

“ I…”,
you began only to fall back into silence right after, your eyes drifting open slowly, however you no longer had the courage to look into his own. Falling apart right before him in this already fragile moment was the last thing you wanted.

Trying not to choke you swallowed the words your heart was relentlessly aching with, releasing a sigh so heavy, you could feel it vibrate through your entire chest.

“ All I want is you to be happy, Pelle…
To find the freedom that you have always longed for… ”

The most painful yet also most honest of all truths, the unpleasant taste of a bitter reality unfolding on your tongue with every single word that rolled off of it as soon - notwithstanding your fierce attempts to conceal your inner struggle - tears were rolling down your cheeks, glistening like small pearls in the light of a hundred ferocious lightnings.

Suddenly the sound of footsteps on wooden tiles ensued, followed by the sensation of surprisingly warm & smooth fingers sliding under your chin in order to gently lift your head; he hadn't let go of his knife yet as you were able to see in your peripheral vision, in fact his grip around the handle appeared to have only tightened, perhaps for reasons of precaution. He knew of your unshakable conviction, had already witnessed it at work. However, this time everything was different…

The voices of Transylvania had returned - & they were louder than ever before.

Then let me go…

Once & for all.

The words fell from his lips like the tears from your eyes, evanescing once the first surge of restrained emotions left your mouth in form of a loud, violent sob, powerful enough to shake your entire body. Once again your environment fell into the arms of darkness when, with both eyes shut tight, you took a single step forward to throw yourself against his chest without shame, aware of this one moment's ephemerality. Both slender arms locked around his torso for an embrace far more precious than any other you had ever indulged in, with your forehead resting against his strong sternum that harboured a still beating heart & your face buried in his shirt that smelled of pine & soil, time froze at last. Captured in this false reality like a perfect moment in a photograph the two of you stood there motionless, speechless, waiting for the inevitable to come however deeply stuck in the morass of denial; an unexpected shift in his posture followed by the feeling of two arms that slowly wrapped themselves around your delicate frame in a beautifully gentle way in return was all it took for that tortuous ache in your soul to cease, & be it only for this one illusion; an illusion that would alter neither the past nor its events, but make the future a more bearable one.