Perfect. [Completed]

Chapter 31. The Worst Punishment

A/N

Trigger warning: suicide attempt.

Xara's POV.

Romeo gulped and looked around nervously, almost expecting something truly horrible to happen. But it was all silent and quiet, only a couple of birds were singing in the forest. Nevertheless, it took good five minutes or so for him to seemingly calm down and sigh, his eyes travelling back on the ground.

- It was the first time I cut myself. - He began his sad tale. - Everything was so horrible, I didn't believe I deserved to live any longer... It was easy, really. I had accidentally dropped a glass on the floor while working in the kitchen, slipped a shard under my clothes. Nobody noticed anything.

I felt a lump in my throat when my eyes noticed a tiny smile on his pale face, something I didn't see very often. But, in this case, it was a heartbreaking smile. Like the one he'd had in my dream, the one that remained on his face after he cut himself to death. A horrible, terrible smile.

Soon enough, it disappeared, and I could let out a breath. Had I been holding it? Well, that was definitely something unusual.

- I couldn't sleep that night. - My roommate went on. - Well, I'd had trouble sleeping before, so insomnia was something even useful for me. There were less guards and doctors at night, if I were lucky they wouldn't have made it in time.

- Did it hurt? - I wondered, not able to keep my mouth shut. I never liked pain, any sort of pain. How could somebody willingly hurt themselves, even to escape this life? Surely there has to be a better way to kill yourself without feeling actual pain!

- Not really, honestly. - Romeo just shrugged, but for a moment or so I could've sworn I had felt the gaze of his dark eyes on me. - Maybe later, not really when I was slitting my hands. It didn't bring relief from emotional pain, it didn't feel good or anything. Just... Cold. Really cold. I-I know that blood is supposed to be hot, but I didn't feel it.

It took a moment or so for me to realise that he was staring at his scar, the long one on his wrist. Had he done it that night? Or later? How many suicide attempts had he made?!

- I-I'm not sure I remember what happened next. - Romeo frowned, as if brushing through his memory to find the exact feelings he had been experiencing that time. - I... I fell, I guess. There was a lot of blood, but the white walls and floor and ceiling made it look almost black. And then there were people in my cell, they pressed something to the wound and uncuffed me and carried me away and... I wasn't even close to dying!

He laughed cruelly at that last phrase, even though I shivered throughoutly. How could he talk about this as if it was normal and ordinary?! How could he be okay with it?! The shock and true confusion made me lose all power of speech.

- I remember sitting on a bed, my feet and hands strapped down. There was something on my wounded wrist, it almost looked like a leather sleeve of some sort? I guess. B-but it had those metal rings installed in both of the ends, like cuffs, so I couldn't open it without a key.

- A leather sleeve? - I raised an eyebrow. - What for?
The guy just shrugged so calmly, as if we were talking about his favorite color. Okay, this definitely wasn't normal! He had almost died back there, he could've been dead now and I wouldn't even know about it! Isn't it just demonic?

- I d-don't really know, honestly. - Romeo replied casually. - They had placed something like a bandage on the cut, so maybe it was supposed to stop me from tearing it off? Guess, they didn't want me to just die off like I deserved.

I had to bite my lip on that one. On jeez. Maybe I used to believe that he deserved to die, but now I was sure in the opposite. Hadn't Romeo been through a lot already?! Besides, he had partly redeemed himself by living through all this pain and torture and humiliation. He didn't deserve death!