Si l'amour est la guerre, alors je déclare

{16}

Dear Diary, Thing,

  Its been about a month since the first day of school.  I'm a Junior now.  I guess that's...Cool?  I don't know.  A lot has been going on this summer with Simon, Niki, or just anything other than what it would be.  Speaking of Simon, he's coming over later...Or I'm coming over later?  I need to text him after this.

  I think I just did the worse thing ever.  I asked Simon if he liked me, like like, I mean, and he didn't say no...I guess.  That's better than just completely blowing me off.  I don't know how I would feel if he just completely decimated my heart.  I'm happy he didn't.  

Okay, so I just texted him and he said he's coming over here.  I'm so nervous.  I've only been to his house.  He's never been over here before.  Now that he knows...How I feel, how will he react?

I don't know what to do...Simon is here!  I told him I was gonna use the bathroom real quick just so I could write this.  He's playing with Nini right now so I guess he's distracted.  I say "I guess" a lot, don't I? Jeez, I'm rambling about nothing.  Why don't I just be chill with him..?  Just like that musical...What was it?  "Just be fine, and cool, and chill?"  Be More Chill...That's it...  That's what I'm gonna do.  Just be fine, and cool, and chill with Simon.  Nothing has to be weird, does it?  Why am I all of a sudden so nervous around him? MAybe its because I'm afraid to make a fool of myself around him now? Maybe that it! I don't want to be a fool.  But when am I not a fool around him?  I'm always a fool around him..!  But maybe, what if I make him mad at me; Or what if he starts to think I'm a weirdo; O-or what if he thinks I'm not good enough..!  Why is there so many "What if's"!?  Why is my life turning upside down so fast!? Damn it! Oh...I'm rambling again, aren't I?  I'm too nervous...Simon is calling me...Just be chill...Just be chill...Just...Be...Chill...

Thanks for the pep talk.  Write in ya' later...