Contradiction & Reality

Chapter Twelve

"It's a deep anguish to be abandoned by your own family. If those of your own blood forsake you are truly forsaken...You are really alone, especially if you are abandoned by those who were supposed to care for you.

- Pearls Of Eternity, Bangambiki Habyarimana

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"This is going to be the last time we ever we talk or meet. After this you and me, we are done!" Her son had firmly told her.

"From today on, I don't want any kind of connection or relationship between us, not even one of hatred, not one of pain, nothing," he had told her with finality in his voice as he had stared at her with a strong resolve.

Nirmala had not expected it, for some reason after hearing Ramnaath Malhotra admitting the fatal mistakes he had made, she had foolishly thought that the day had come, the day her son would get to know the whole truth - the day she would be able to be a part of his life without explanation or guilt. But she had been wronged by her own desire to be seen as an innocent. After the shock of his unfair behavior towards her wore off, she had asked him if even after knowing everything; his father's crimes against her, her suffering and her longing for her only child - couldn't he forget about the past and accept her? Didn't his heart melt after knowing everything she went through? Didn't he think she was worthy of his mercy?

His answer was;

"No. You have been content in this past decade and have moved on, so has my father, it was only I who haven't. I was the one who never felt at peace, never had a home, no one who was by my side, and even now that's not going to change, nothing will change that," he told her, his face devoted to any expression, his eyes hard as he had looked back at her, merciless.

"You are punishing yourself," Ramnaath had stated, "Don't do that to yourself, Shravan," he had whispered painfully.

"Why shouldn't I? After all, everything that happened was because of me; I had been the sole reason and cause of everything that went wrong," he had muttered in a tired voice.

"But don't you see that your stubbornness, your pain, and your suffering are only hurting the people who love you," Nirmala accused with a frown.

"Good," he had said with a careless shrug, his arms warped around his chest in a defensive manner.

After a thought, she had realized things wouldn't go the way she had imagined, so she turned their conversation to the person she knew he would react to; Suman Tiwari.

"Why didn't you tell Suman that you  love her?" She asked, staring at him as he let out a shattering sigh at the abrupt change the topic of their conversation before smiling at her ironically but didn't say anything until she repeated the question once again.

"You had asked me what I want from you. Well, I want your honest answer; why didn't you tell Suman?" She asked him, curious and confused, hoping that somehow the answer would clear for them both parents the path which they have to take to bring the peace of their son's life and Suman Tiwari back in his life.

But when she looked up at him for the answer, suddenly once again a sardonic smirk was all she got as he looked at her with an amused expression on his face before sighing.

"Even though I am not answerable to you, nor I owe you any explanation but as it's all out in open so let me ask; when should I have done that? When you left me or when you came back? Well, let me inform you; I have tried to tell her on both occasions. But you know what happened? You happened, Mrs Nirmala Ahu-sorry, Malhotra, your coming back ruined things for me as you leaving me had," Shravan said as he looked at her with nothing but coldness and accusations in his eyes, his words finally freed from the cage he had locked them into to not appear weak, vulnerable, but he wasn't going to hold back anything now because he didn't care...