Contradiction & Reality

Chapter Fifteen

"How much of life could he spend aching? Aching is not a stable condition; it must resolve into something."

― Arthur Phillips, The Song Is You

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He was standing there once again...

There, still, holding his breath, once again...

Waiting for his death sentence...

He had thought that it won't matter this time around...

That he didn't care...

Nothing mattered...

He could care less...

But he was wrong...

He still felt as if he couldn't breathe...

As if his heart could stop any given moment...

And that he was wearing black to mourn the death of the future he thought he could have with her...

With her, Suman Tiwari, his former best friend...

She would walk in any given moment, in red, the color of the celebration...

Red to represent the death of everything they were and weren't, never could be, never would be...

Red to represent the birth of her blissful future...

A future that doesn't include him, never would...

He had thought that the last time, his every desire, hope and the love he had for her had died, that now this time around, he would be numb and indifferent towards whatever was happening...

But he had been wrong...

And now he couldn't do anything...

He wouldn't...

No, he wouldn't...

And just then she walked in, wearing red, looking breathtakingly beautiful...

With a beaming smile, she took the hand of the man standing next to her in the mandap, and with the chant of prayers, after the vows and promises, she was already married to the man...

And he couldn't do anything other than look at everything happening right in front of his eyes...

And then she was gone... 

The man took her away, to somewhere he could no longer reach...

Yet he could hear her...

Her screams for help...

Just like she had the last time...

And suddenly, he was there once again, standing in front of the door of the closed room, banging it with both hands, uncaring of pain, his heart shaking with fear, calling out her name but he could only hear her cries for help.

"Sumo!" He yelled and yelled...

With all his strength he pushed the door, but no matter how much strength he put in, it didn't open...

He banged his shoulder on the door with force, trying to break in but nothing - it didn't break, no matter how much force he put in, the door wouldn't open... 

Frantically he tried to think of a way he could enter into the room, but he couldn't find anything... 

He looked around, and there they were, all of them standing together, but no one would help him, he pleaded each one of them to help him...