Lost & Found

Chapter 1

I wake up because of loud knocking on my door and a familiar voice shouting at me, although her words aren't registering to me. All I can think about is the dream I just had.

'It was only a dream.'

Disappointment rushes through me, like water breaking through a dam. It's then I notice that my face is wet. Bringing a hand up to my face, I realize I've been crying. Funny, I didn't think I had tears left to shed.

"Liv, time to get up, you know the new additions are arriving today and the Beta wants the whole pack to be present."

I groan, while rolling over in the bed, sniffing the cushion besides mine. There still are traces of him left, but they are beginning to fade, because of me hugging it like my life depends on it at night. That's the sad thing really, my life does depend on it, because it keeps the nightmares at bay.

"What's left of it anyway." I grumble.

A gasp sounds from the doorway followed by footsteps marching into the room. I sit up straight right away, growling at the intruder, they know better than to invade my room, his smell, with their stinky ones, but I'm not successful at scaring them, as I receive a smack on my arm.

"Olivia! You know better than to say those things, we've already lost so much, it's time to look forward again, start building our lives back up."

I bare my teeth at her in warning, a hiss escaping my throat, dangerously close to growling. My best friend's eyes widen at my reaction, she raises her hands in surrender and hastily steps back.

"Easy for you to say, you haven't even found your mate, so you cannot compare."

Even though the chance that her mate died in the war is pretty much 100%, I don't care how hurtful my words are. It's still different, because she has never met her mate, so she doesn't know what she's missing out on. Even with the massive loss of lives and number of people losing their mates, I still feel like I'm hurting all alone, like no one else is feeling the way I am. Selfish, you say? Probably, but at the moment, I don't really care.

Yet, I know better than to stand up against a Beta's wish, even if he isn't an Alpha, he's currently  our highest rank, so he could still punish me for not attending, or notify the new Alpha. So I drag my feet out of bed and onto the floor although I'd rather stay holed up in my cocoon like I have for several months now. People might try to tell you that it gets better, but I'm telling you, they lie.

"Don't forget to shower." Kat, short for Catherine, reminds me in a sing-song voice, with which she earns another growl and a door slammed to her face. I'm so much more in tune with the animal side of me lately. She's grieving equally, if not more, than I am and that helps. So I guess you could say I'm not completely alone, if you are a glass full kind of gal. I certainly am not. My glass, is as dry as the desert is.

I should know, being a wolf living near the Sonoran Desert. Our kind of wolf has had to adapt to the drier weather and atmosphere here. Our wolves' colors are mostly a sandy brown because of this, so we can blend in more with the sand dunes of the desert. Wolves who live in the more woodsy areas that are almost rainforest-like have a much darker brown skin, sometimes varying to black, because they can't stand out against he dark backgrounds. Oh and my personal favorite, Alaskan wolves, they have blue-ish whites and grey furs. So many shades of wolves, so normal for their remote areas.  It's basically Darwin's theory on evolution. I guess all of that's over now too, as a lot of people have to switch packs to fill in vacant roles left by the thousands of deaths all over the USA. I wonder how many generations it will take before the the furs have adapted to their new surroundings again. I doubt I'll live to see it.