Blooming Days ¦ c.b

(2)

blooming flower through adversity

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Baekhyun never imagined he will be sitting on a warm sofa with tea and biscuits served in front of him. The old lady who sat across the table said she was there to listen and understand him which of course Baekhyun knew she's getting paid to do so. All he had to do is answer her questions of "what do you feel right now?" Or "what are you thinking right now?"

He never talked.

For the third week of her visits, the old lady said it would be the last, and Baekhyun couldn't be more relieved than ever. Finally, he doesn't have to see a stranger roaming his brother's apartment every weekend.

It has been a month since the day Kim Jongin, one of the many foster brothers he had, brought him out of his house barely breathing. Baekhyun knew that he was dying that night and Kim Jongin almost fainted from the sight of him. A lot has happened since and he couldn't say Jongin doesn't know anything, Dr. Kim Jongin's the one who treated his wounds after all.

Jongin even tried convincing him to go to the police. Which he immediately rejected, nope. Not the authorities.

Now he stays in his house, with a budding flower on his thighs and a broken soul. Jongin gave him almost everything, except the only thing he wanted is to remove the flower. They are already budding, a thing Baekhyun couldn't accept for the first two days he saw them. He was determined then that no matter what happens he should die. His brother had to sedate him.

He flinched when he heard the alarm clock ringing, indicating that the session with the old woman is over. He looked at the woman in front of him and she started speaking once more.

"Baekhyun, I know this is all new and just too painful for you. Your physical wounds already healed, but the wound here," the lady pointed right to his chest, "will never heal if you don't let it out."

Baekhyun nodded.

"So, I hope you could talk to your brother, open up, and just let it out. I hope I could at least knock on your door and let you know that we're all here for you."

We're all here for you. What a nice thing to say to a broken human. Baekhyun, again, nodded as if he absorbs everything the woman says. As if he understood and will comply with what the woman wanted. Too bad, he won't.

The lady smiled at him for the last time before standing up and trudging towards the door of Jongin's apartment. His hyung and the lady hugged for some time too. When the doorknob made a clicking sound, that's when he let out the breath he's been holding in. Baekhyun's body went lax on the sofa. At least the situation favored him. He won't be seeing any stranger in the house for the next few weeks unless of course, Jongin asked for another shrink.

"Baekhyun," Jongin sat across him, the sudden silence after he called his name and the stares he's giving Baekhyun made the latter tensed up and straightened up on the sofa. Baekhyun knew just from the looks of Jongin that he will get scolded. With his eyes lingering on Jongin's, he breathed the thick air around him. He just hopes Jongin took the signs of him not talking that he won't really talk in the near future to strangers too.

"What do you want for dinner?"

His hands automatically stopped from shaking and he averted his gazes as soon as possible. "Anything." He murmured.

Jongin nodded and left towards the kitchen. He bet, his brother got scared of what he saw inside his apartment three weeks ago and how he acted for the first week of his stay that he thought he had to seek professional help.

Imagine sedating your brother because he's going out of his mind and asking for anybody to just kill him. Jongin must have lost at least half of his sanity from all the emotional stress he brought him. He was sorry for the guy.

That night they ate braised beef, a food he enjoys when he was in the Kim's household when he was young.

°°°

Trying to sleep at night is already torture, but the nightmares that came with it are another story. Baekhyun would wake up, panting and curled on the white mattress, his shirt is wet from the sweat that's trickling down his forehead. He would then feel a gut-wrenching vomit all the way to his chest where it would choke him for a few seconds before it spills all over the floor. With all the remaining strength he had, he would clean the floor until all of the mess and stench he made that night will be long gone the next morning.

That's how Baekhyun is grasping through the reality flashing right in front of him. He's blooming, through pain and all those other things that are keeping him up all night. Baekhyun is broken yet that parasite in his body is all unbothered and healthy.

As if it's telling him that he will never win this battle. That he would never be able to get up in the morning with a peaceful heart. That its mere existence is trying to kill him, every single day.

"I'm gonna go now," Jongin said beside him, that one morning.

"To work? I thought it was a day off?" He murmured, enough for him to be heard.

"I have to go to your university to take care of your papers and records. They called earlier to ask if you're gonna come back or drop the subjects and just retake it next semester."

Oh shit. Jongin doesn't have to go as far as taking care of his remaining uni bullshits. It's not important anymore.

"I'm sorry, but please you don't have to do that at all." He took a deep breath, and before he could think, his mouth beats him to it, "I will be the one to look after it... tomorrow."

"Baekhyun, it's fine."

"Let me handle it. Just rest for today, it's a day off after all."

Awesome. Now he just has to make sure not to look at people and not to be looked at by other people tomorrow. Which will be the hardest thing to do. He felt anxious and nervous about tomorrow. Different scenarios already clouded his mind, everything was just too negative for his frail mind to handle that night, he fell asleep easier than he had ever done.

Little did he know, sleeping faster will make tomorrow also came faster.

[tbc.]

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sehubo