Reece's POV
"Y/N, baby. Please calm down it's okay." I said trying to calm down my beautiful girlfriend of 2 years.
"NO!" She screamed back throwing a pillow.
We were currently alone in my room arguing about her not wanting to go home.
"I refuse to go home. Home is where school is. Home is where they are." She said stepping further away from me.
"Baby, who are they?" I asked.
"Everyone. My parents. It's too much pressure. I'm an only child and I'm meant to be perfect. Plus my best friend is putting a lot of pressure in me to keep his secret-"
"You need to talk to someone. What's going on with him? Why can't he talk to anyone else?" I asked.
"He's relying on me. His 'depression' doesn't seem real anymore. He's too open about it. I can't, Reece. I just can't. I need to breathe." She sat down on my bed and I leaned against my wardrobe not knowing whether to comfort her or let her breathe.
"Have you spoke to anyone how you feel?" She nodded, "who?"
"My mum. I broke down in front of her. I tried to listen to her and my dad's advice but I just couldn't. He trusts me. I'm trying to make him himself again. Trying to fix those 'broken' parts but how can I when I feel nothing but broken?" She burst out crying so I went and sat next to her.
"Breathe okay. Just inhale and, exhale." I grabbed both her hands and turned her to face me. She pulled away and walked to the other side of my room and knocked things of my dresser.
"I can't. Don't you get it." She shouted. I saw her swallow and try to hold back more tears.
"Baby come here." I tried to embrace her but she hates to be touched when she's upset. This time is different.
"Show me your wrists." She was obviously was taken back with what I said.
"Wha-"
"You heard me." I said boldly.
"What? No, Reece. Just no. You honestly think I would do that? After seeing all my friends go through it? Not to mention I've done it in the past so it doesn't even fucking hurt me anymore! That's how broken I feel. I don't even fele like I desver to be broken. I deserve to feel nothing m. I don't desvere you to love me. Everyone puts so much pressure on me 'cause I'm trustworthy. Wish I wasn't. Wish I wasn't anything. I want to move away. Far away. Wish I could design am island and choose exactly who and what I want to be there." She was out of breath. I could tell.
"Calm down, okay. Its just me." I physically broke me to see her like this.
"I can't take all the attention seeking bitches anymore. I just can't. If I put something up, someone else has to too and then they get all the attention as they've actually told people what they've gone through and their scars are visible and they think they've gone through worse because of that. I don't want the attention though. I don't know what I want or how I feel. Reece the only thing I want is not to be here. Please take me away somewhere."
She finally let me into pull her into my arms where I heald her. Tight. Like this was the last time I was going to ever hold her.
"I want to be there for him. I do. He's one of my best friends. I just can't. Then I feel really guilty if I can't be there and tell him to stop. Then I just feel like it's my fault and like inside he's blaming me. It's just too much." I could feel her crying and I could feel my shirt soak up her tears.
"All my friends want to be there for me but I just don't let them in. It's how I've always been. Then if I tell one I fele like I have to tell a couple others. Most of my friend live so far away and they're the ones I trust the most and am closest too."
"I know baby, I know." I moved the hair out of her face and placed a genital kiss on her head.
"I've been through so much at a young age, but because I want friends with most of my friends now, I feel like it doesn't count or exist. But even the friends I was friends with at the time, I didn't tell them. I didn't act different. I lost my self and I still haven't fully found her. I'm trying to be perfect but I can't. Do I even want to find or be myself again?"
"Yes," I said before she could say anything else. "You should always been yourself. No matter what. You're the best person I know, Y/N. And I'm so incredibly, deeply in love with you." I placed a soft reassuring kiss on her lips.
"I need air." She rushed over and sat by the open window. "I just want to Exhale for a minute." She said. She could obviously feel my gaze upon her.
"I'm always here, baby. Don't forget that. Whenever you're ready to tlak anything out."
"I just need to calm down for a moment." She said, continuing to stare out the window.
"Okay."
"Can I breathe for just one second baby." I heard her whisper as she wiped the remaining tears from her face with my jumper cuff.
