Dear Friend, I'm Back - A 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' Story

Chapter 2 - Dear Friend, I'm Back - A 'Perks of Being a Wallflower' Story

Dear Friend,

I still haven't written to Patrick. I feel like a bad person because I haven't done that yet. But I'm not, and I did just forget. Honest. I've been with Sam the last two days. I mean from the evening of January 1. Before you get excited, if that is how you also react when you think of Sam, we still haven't had sex yet.

But that is alright. Because I think she is still nervous about me going weird again like before. We went to Bob's house today.

He is still the same as before. He still keeps his routine. But I think he needs to change that. Because he is starting to smell ever after a day. And I don't think that is very nice. Sam showers everyday, and she smells lovely. But she didn't shower on January 1. I know that because I was with her that night. She asked me when it was getting late and I was at her house and her parents were with friends 'playing board games.'

'Do you want to stay the night with me, Charlie?'

I looked away from my glass of brandy that was sitting on the table, the ice cubes looking like crystals in the light. Or at least I thought they did.

'You mean sleep over?'

'Yes.' Sam nodded her head, her lips formed in a half hopeful smile.

Truth is I haven't had a sleep over in a while. Not since Michael. But I've told you about him before. And I don't want to think of him again. Not when I'm busy thinking and telling you about Sam.

'Where will I sleep?'

That was my next question to Sam. Now I think back, it was a stupid question. But then again, it wasn't. What if Sam wanted me to sleep on the couch while she slept on the other and we watched movies all night?

Sam laughed.

'In my bedroom.'

'Will I sleep on the floor then?'

And Sam smiled and her hand was on my hand.

'No. You can sleep with me, in my bed, Charlie.'

'Oh.'

I think Sam was put off by my answer. But inside I really was happy. Sam wanted me to sleep in her bed. And that is what couples do. They share beds. Sam looked at me when I answered, as if not sure what to say.

'So, do you want to?'

I think it took me a while to answer because in my head I started thinking of all the things that could happen. I started worrying that I would dream about her and that I would get an erection and she'd think I was trying to do things to her.

'What's wrong, Charlie?'

Sam asked me because I must have looked like I was upset.

'What're you thinking about?'

I blinked and finished my brandy.

'What if I get an erection?'

'It doesn't matter if you do, Charlie.'

'Doesn't it?'

'No. It'll go away. And if it doesn't, I think we could deal with it.'

After Sam said that she froze. Like she thought she had said something wrong. In truth, I think I knew at the time why she looked worried. Sam was probably thinking back to the last time she had touched me inside my pants and how I had reacted and everything that had happened after. But then I smiled. It wasn't a wide smile. It was one that let Sam know she hadn't upset me or anything.

'We can deal with it.'

I said that to her, and it wasn't a question. Because I knew then that we would be able to deal with it, in those special ways that couples deal with erections. So after that we went to Sam's bedroom and it was still empty. Apart from her dresser and bed. And I looked at her and I smiled. And Sam smiled back. She helped me take off my clothes until I was only in my underwear. Then I helped her take off her clothes to her underwear. Then Sam looked at me.

'Bra, on or off?' she asked me.

I stared at her. And then I thought it would be nice to be able to see her breasts again. But I thought Sam might think that was selfish of me so I stayed quiet and shrugged.

Sam took of her bra. I think this means she is more comfortable without it on. And I suppose she hardly needs it. Her breasts aren't large, but I don't care what the magazines with the women with cleavage on the front say about large breasts being beautiful. I like Sam's exactly as they are. And I really shouldn't tell you too much about those kinds of details.

We got into bed and Sam was close to me. And she smelled nice even though she hadn't had a shower yet because girls do tend to smell nice. Unless their perfume is too strong, but Sam's wasn't. I just hope she didn't think I smelled.

Which I don't think she did because she was close to me and out heads were close and her breasts were against my side and it all felt great. But I've run my sentence together, and I shouldn't. Sorry. Our legs were 'entwined' too. And we slept next to each other and when I woke up I did have an erection. But I didn't want Sam to see so I went to the bathroom and masturbated. I got back into Sam's bed after that. And I did wash my hand too. She woke up after a few minutes and she kissed my cheek. I'd never had a morning kiss like that before.

I liked it. And Sam didn't say anything about me having an erection either so that was fine. We are bacon for breakfast and then I had to say goodbye to Sam again because she was going back to Penn State. She hadn't really unpacked so I stayed with her until she had to get back in her truck and leave. We kissed goodbye a few times and it was nice.

'Write to me soon, Charlie.'

I told her I would. and that I'd write to Patrick too. And then Sam drove me home in her truck and we kissed goodbye again. And then she left, and we couldn't kiss again.

My brother was leaving too. My whole family said goodbye to him, but my Mom was the only one who kissed him goodbye. My sister and I hugged him and Dad shook his hand. And then he drove off and there were no more goodbyes.

School starts again soon as Christmas break is almost over. I have been trying to 'participate' more, too.

Honest.

Love always,

Charlie