I'll Get Over The Way You Got Over Me

Closure

Because it's their last day in Australia, they don't have a hotel, which Zayn grumbles about a bit, and then flushes when Liam nudges him again, teases him that he could've timed it better, then, but then he nods to himself and drags Liam into the studio they've been recording their new album in during the tour, and then he locks the door as well.

The stools in the studio aren't nearly as comfortable as the sofas and beds on the bus, but Liam sits without complaint, supposes Zayn's right about wanting a bit of privacy. They've probably had enough of these conversations in front of the others. "So," he says, when he's sitting, and Zayn's standing in front of him, twisting his ring around his thumb nervously. "'m not angry with you anymore, y'know," Liam says, because Zayn looks utterly terrified, and Liam wants to make it better. "'m probably not gonna be angry after, either."

Zayn laughs, but it sounds kind of wry and self-deprecating. "I know you won't be," he says, almost a little bit sad. "But you'll—things'll be different, yeah, and I. You'll look at me differently."

Liam frowns. "There isn't anything you could say that would make me look at you differently," he says, earnestly, and Zayn gives him this look that's so incredibly fond, it makes Liam's stomach twist up, tight and fluttery.

"Fuck, Leeyum," Zayn says, softly. He runs a hand down Liam's cheek, gently, and then he retracts it, runs it through his hair. "You're incredible, d'you know that? Like. I think you're the most incredible person I know." Liam opens his mouth, to say that that isn't true at all, but Zayn shushes him. "You are, shut up. Like. That sort of ties into what I wanted to tell you, actually, like. The explanation I promised, yeah?" Liam nods, wordlessly. Zayn licks his lips. "Alright, so. I suppose I better explain, then."

"Y' don't have to," Liam puts in, because Zayn looks so miserable, and that's the last thing he wants. "I don't need an explanation, Zayn, not. It's alright, yeah? We're good."

Zayn huffs out a laugh. "Yeah," he says, "but I still should. Because, like." He pauses, again, like he's steeling himself, and then he makes a face at himself and says, quickly, "I knew. I knew what I was doing. I didn't—I didn't know I was hurting you that badly, or I would've stopped, but I knew, like, I knew that I was being a shit friend, I knew I was blowing you off, I knew—I knew. I was doing it on purpose, even," he says, and Liam feels a little bit like he's been slapped, a sharp, stinging pain coursing through his body.

"Oh," he says, hollowly. "Um. Why?"

Zayn looks miserable. "Because—because we'd be reading comics and you'd be, you'd be biting your lip and grinning and making stupid voices, and all I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss you," he says, and for a single, extremely clear moment, Liam thinks his heart stops beating. Then everything rushes back into real time, and Zayn is saying, "Or we'd go to the cinema and I'd spend the entire film thinking of holding your hand, or we'd go out shopping and I'd think about sneaking into your changing room and—it was too hard, to keep all that inside and. And Louis was easy, yeah, there weren't any." He cuts himself off, looks down at Liam sort of helplessly. "'m really, really in love with you, Liam," he says, then, and Liam thinks he might be having some sort of heart attack, his heart is beating so fast.

"Oh," he says, again, only this time his voice sounds kind of high-pitched and choked.

"Yeah," Zayn says, smiling sort of sadly. "Told ya' you wouldn't be able to look at me the same anymore."

Liam frowns. "No," he protests. "I am still, I just—really? Me? You've." Sometimes, he thinks, disparaging, he really fucking hates that he's no good with words. "D'you know why I was so much more upset with you than I was with Louis?" he asks, finally.

Zayn looks sort of weird, a little bit pale, wide-eyed, mouth tight. "Because I'm your best mate and I left you?" he answers, but he doesn't sound very sure of himself.

"Well, yeah," Liam admits, "but also. I was really hurt, but like, I was also really jealous? Of Louis, I mean, because. That's. You're mine, y'know? My Zayn. And I wanted—I wanted to kiss you too, y'know. When we're reading comics. And I wanna hold your hand in cinemas and have you sneak into my changing room when I'm looking at clothes, and—"

Zayn kisses him. Liam's still talking when Zayn's lips land on his, so his mouth is open, and Zayn takes shameless advantage, licks in behind Liam's teeth, and Liam's really, really glad he's sitting down, because he's not sure his legs could carry him. His stomach is flipping over, and his hands are shaking when he fists them in Zayn's shirt and holds on, helpless against the heat coursing through his entire body. Zayn's lips are wet and warm and his nose is bumping against Liam's sort of awkwardly, and it's a little bit too frenzied to be really great, and it's the best fucking kiss of Liam's entire life.

"Alright," he says, when Zayn pulls back, smiling like a doof. Zayn's smiling back, eyes crinkling at the corners and his tongue pressed to his teeth. Liam wants to lick it, again. "Can we—again?" he asks, and when Zayn laughs, delightedly, it's the best sound Liam's ever heard.