Wolfstar And Marauders Hell

Move To Another Country

The class chattered and laughed loudly as poor Professor Flitwick climbed up on his desk and waved his hands, trying to get their attention. Only a couple girls saw him, and they all giggled when they saw him standing there, red in the face from trying to make himself heard above the din.

At the back of the classroom, Sirius Black, James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew sat, playing Exploding Snap.

Sirius swore loudly as he lost and the entire deck in his hands caught fire. 'Merlin's flaming tits!'

James stamped on his foot under the table. 'Oi! Remember the no swearing thing? Everyone is else is doing fine with it but you.'

Sirius narrowed his eyes at him in a fearsome glower. 'Mind your own fucking business, Potter.'

James let out a horrified gasp. 'That's no language for such a pretty young lady like you!'

Remus looked up from where he was trying to read what was written in the book. 'Shut it, you lot. I'm trying to pass my O.W.L.s, if you don't mind. If you want to chat, go somewhere else.'

James laughed. 'Loosen up, mate. It's just Charms.' He made eye-contact with a furious looking Flitwick, who had given up on the class, and was sitting on the edge of the desk, his face resting on his hands. James winced. 'Ooh, he looks put out.'

All it took was for Marlene to levitate a flaming paper airplane in Lily's direction before Flitwick had had it. He pointed his wand at the heavy chandelier overhead, and it twisted around with a fearsome screech. The class fell silent and looked at him. 'I HAVE HAD IT UP TO HERE!' cried Flitwick, raising his hand above his head.

'That's still not very high, then,' said somebody snidely, referring to Flitwick's mean stature.

A ripple of giggles spread through the class.

Flitwick blinked. 'Look, if you're not going to concentrate, then you can go and sit with Professor McGonagall in her office, and tell her why you're there.'

'What, and have tea and a "biscuit"?' whispered Sirius, imitating Professor McGonagall's thick Scottish accent at the end.

Remus nudged his foot under the table. 'Shhh.'

Sirius grinned. 'Whatever you say, Moony.'

'As I was saying,' said Flitwick pointedly, 'you all need to start paying attention. Otherwise you're going to fail your O.W.L.s, and you'll have no one but yourselves to blame.' He paused for effect. 'I have tried. I really have. But your behaviour is impossible. I don't think I've ever taught a class this bad.

'And it's not all of your faults. There are some of us -- a select few, I might go so far as to add, who make noise and cause trouble, and go marauding about the place, and ruin the experience for others!'

Jamie snorted loudly, and Remus looked embarrassed. 'Why do you look pleased?' he hissed disapprovingly at Sirius.

'Pleased?' asked Sirius, looking politely confused. 'I'm not sure what you're talking about.'

Remus sighed, and returned his attention to Flitwick.

'My teaching isn't for me. I don't get the benefit. It doesn't affect me if you pass your O.W.L.s or not.' The whole class groaned as he made "The Speech". They'd all heard it from at least one teacher at one point or another. 'It only affects you. I've already got my qualifications, already got a job. You're the ones who need to pass your exams. So if you want to have any sort of a future, you will kindly return your attention to me.'

'I think it does affect him if we all fail,' said Peter. 'Dumbledore can see if no one's passed, and if they haven't, it means it's the teacher, not us. And he can be sacked.'

'Nah,' said James, 'Dumbledore and Flitwick go way back. He'd never get rid of him. Even if he never passes another student in his life.'

Flitwick gazed around the class, making sure that his speech had made a solid impact, and returned to teaching them some new Charm.

'Whew! That was bloody intense!' said James in awe.

Peter shrugged. 'Yeah, well. No one was listening to him. It must be really annoying.'

'Annoying? Annoying? What's annoying is that this is Third Year stuff, and I have to sit here listening to Flitwick blabber on about this shit and give overused lectures nobody really wants to hear. That's what's "annoying".' Sirius threw his head back in frustration, and began to carve his initials into the tabletop with his quill.

'Oi, mate! That's vandalism!' James exclaimed, seeing this.

Sirius scoffed. 'Yeah, you're an illegal Animagus who runs around with an unregistered Werewolf once a month, and now you're worried about vandalism. Vandalism.'

'That's different,' argued James. 'One is morally corrupt, the other is not.'

'Yes, O Great Philosopher. You clearly know all about morals and ethics and stuff like that. You can't even remember to wear trousers in the morning.'

'That was one time! One time!' said James in outrage.

'Sure,' said Sirius infuriatingly.

Flitwick paused, and glared at them. 'If you're not going to listen, then move.'

James looked at Sirius. 'Yeah, we're trying to study. Move, please.'

Sirius crossed his legs under the table, and checked his nails. 'Move to another country.'

Peter snorted.

'No,' said James, 'I'm never going to leave, and I'm going to stay here forever and squat in your house just to annoy you and you'll have to see me every day for the rest of your life.'

'Squat?' asked Sirius incredulously. 'No, we don't need your legs getting any bigger.'

James leaned forward over the table. 'Fuck you!'

Sirius cackled. 'So much for good language, eh?'

Lily cleared her throat. 'If you four were quite done having your own little conversation.'

'Hey!' said Peter defensively. 'It was just those two.'

Lily eyed Sirius and James disdainfully. 'I suppose it was.'

Remus looked at James. He'd gone red, and looked slightly tongue-tied. 'We're done,' he said, trying to make his voice sound deeper, but all it did was make it sound squeakier.

Sirius chuckled, and Jamie kicked him in the shin under the table.

Lily gave them a last look of contempt, and no one else spoke for the rest of the lesson, much to Professor Flitwick's relief.