The Optimist

six

. . .

The log seat goes up and up and up, spinning in circles five hundred feet above the ground. The visitors below resemble ants, but of all colors, and I gaze down at them. Air wisps at my face as my hear breezes back, flowing free of all of my worries. Jacob's hair flows back into my face, the soft curls simmering my mood.

"We probably look like crazy newlyweds who came here right after their wedding," Jacob says, laughing at his own joke. I look down below.

Silence. It's like the first day I met him. Or, he met me. It's completely silent, an awkward silence dubbing over us.

"Or runaway prom attendees." I whisper. The air, and the feeling of rising and falling take over me as I breath in the fresh air five hundred feet away above everyone else's air.

"In that case," he says, "that's just what we are. We still look dashing, however."

The swing take a deep dive near the ground, almost dropping two hundred feet closer to the earth and life I know below. Up here, it's different. The feeling of freedom and relief, and a memory with each rotation.

"Do you ever just wonder if this'll fall?" I say to Jacob, curiously. His eyes are closed, and he's relaxed. He shakes his head.

"Never." He says. "Freedom has no boundaries." He says. Two more full circles in ecstasy, then it's all over. The feeling, the fresh air, the freedom.

When the ride finally drops, so does my mood. Jacob exits the ride and runs off. I fiddle with my buckle and I can't catch up. He runs toward the Trash Blast, a windy inside slide that throws sticks and leaves in your hair and over your body. The most stupid ride here.

But he runs toward it, so I follow along. He's at the end of the line when I finally meet him. "How's it going? I haven't seen you in a year." He laughs, and I nod.

No smiles. Not now.

. . .

"You didn't have to get on." I mumble to Jacob mumbles as we sit at the curvy concrete lining the outer layer of the park. He picks leaves from my wild curls as I bend over, picking up a flower. They're everywhere, the pink, willowy plant shredding with my touch.

"Give me that." He commands. I pretend to play dumb. "Give you what?'

"The flower. I think it'll look nice in your hair." He smirks. No, no flowers. I shake my head and blush as he nods understandingly. "Sorry for ruining your first ever outing," Jacob says. He plucks leaves and sticks from my hair again.

"You look amazing, though. Don't worry, Xena's not half bad, she's amazing too." I know Jacob can't help but speak nicely of Xena, but he I don't think he realizes it's he's speaking to me. Some unimportant loser he decided to converse with two weeks ago.

It'll always stay this way. I'm sure of it.

. . .

"Sorry, I ruined your prom. I can't apologize enough, but hey, look on the bright side." He grins. "You still had fun, right? The Trash Blast and Spin-A-Log were all great fun, yeah?"

I ignore Jacob and open up Allegiant, last book of the Divergent series, reading the first words. Jacob sighs at the table across from me as I read. "I know you're mad, but I can take you out, if you want."

Silence. I read and read, slowly being drawn into the book. I completely forget about Jacob. "It' alright if you don't wanna talk to me. Here." He slides another ten dollar bill across the table and smiles. I look up from my book and push the ten away frrom me, again.

"I don't want your money." I mumble. He offers one more time before sighing and taking the ten back. "Tommorow's Frito Burrito Friday. And, I see that you don't eat this lunch, so, take mine." He says. Today, beans and chicken nuggets, doesn't interesnt me. But, yes, I'm unhappy and Jacob can't (and won't) change that.