The Optimist

twelve

Our favorite little optimist on the side! -xoxo, Mo.

Nadia

. . .

I look at Jacob like I was just diagnosed with cancer. Of course he'd know about the family rivalries, but I didn't expect him to mention it being the goody-goody he is. He's not the bearer of bad news, and he'd never spill it. He smiles, of course. but it looks sore and forced.

"Listen, if I'm seen with you, I'll be in deep trouble." He says in a hushed tone. He frowns for the first ever time and my mouths gapes open. He pulls my chin up, but a breathy laugh espcaes his lips and now he's taking in every surrounding, sound, and person who walks pass.

"I know." I say. My palms are sweaty and it fogs over the plastic cover of the book a bit. I rub my palms on my jeans and look at the dog catchers roaming the park for strays. One chases a do with a leash flying behind him and his tongue abosrbing the air as he runs away from the man.

"I don't like that." Jacob says. "Us being separate is like a sky without clouds, you know. It's incomplete."

"That's ugly." I add on and he nods. He shifts in his seat for a moment. "We need clouds to survive." I say.

"Just like our love. But, it's not our fault, I hope you know." He says, that optimsitc trait of his shining through. Before I can respond back, we both jump when I hear a booming "Jacob!" from behind.

Jacob slowly turns around, and a smiling Jaxton approaches us. Jacob immediatly smiles at him and jumps up to give him a handshake. For a full five minutes, they chat as I sit awkrawdly and listen. It's as if Jacob just forgot my whole exsistence and Jaxton didn't realize I even do exist.

Slighlty fed up, I get up and walk past Jaxton and Jacob, heading home. Jacob doesn't stop me this time and I slump a little on the way, disappointed. I leave without a word or warning. Maybe he doesn't like me or love me, so why'd he say it?

. . .

"I won't leave you again. As an optimist, I like to help everyone any time. Please don't be mad." Jacob doesn't have anything on his tray to fiddle with as he begs for my forgiveness.

"I'm sorry?" He pokes his lip out and widens his eyes like a puppy. I sigh, defeated, and grant him another chance. A little smile tugs at the corner of my lips and I let it. I smile wider for no camera.

"Moments like this should always be cherished." Jacob says.

What?

I raise a brow and giggle a bit. Is he crazy-

"Yes." He repsonds before I can finish the thought process. "Moments like when you forget about it all and just love."

"But, I'm not in love." I say, half truthfully.

"I am." He says. "And here's the scenario. I'm sure you've heard it, or in fact, may be the one in it." He winks.

"So, there's this girl. She won't smile often, she half-died on her prom night, and she always reads. Always." He says. I blush a little when he mentions prom. The book in my hand drops after I loose complete sense.

"Crap, sorry." I mumble, retrieving the novel from his shoe where it made its grand debut.

"Harry Potter?" He raises a brow with a small smile. I nod quickly and walk the opposite way, knowing not what to say anymore.

"By the way, the girl is you," He says. My back is turned, luckily, and he can't see my expression, which happens to be a perfect 'o' from surprise. I turn on my heels and adjust the shoulder pads on my backpack.

Nervous, I walk to him and stand short against his tall figure. I smile a fake, wide smile and he does a real one, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look into his brown eyes.

"Even if we're not supposed to like each other, or even be near, it's not going to happen because I'll admit, I like you. The glasses, the books, and just you. Especially the smile."

I rub my thumb across the cover of the Harry Potter book and pull back from his light grip on my face. I look down, and for no reason, smile. "Not at the ground." He says.

I look, cocking a brow. 'What?" He's always saying some weird, uncomprehensiable stuff.

"Don't smile at the ground. It's not fair." He fake pouts and I giggle, holding in my laughter. "He can see your smile, but I can't." He crosses his arms and pokes his lips out, brining his eyebrows together.

"How do you know I wasn't frowning? And how do you know the floor is a he?" I ask, challneging him.

"Becasue you're stepping on me. I am the ground." He says. What? He makes no sense, and that's hilaious.

"Then technically you could see my smile." I inform him. He's obliviously missing the big clue that if he were the groud, he could see it. "Why are you so obsessed with seeing a smile on my face, anyway? Xena's is so much better." I admit, letting the curiousity gets the best of me.

'Because." He says.

"Because why?" I poke his nose, hoping no one sees. Especially Nathan. He may not tell, but he can hold it against me just as easily.. "That's not a good enough answer." I say.

"Because it's better than Xena's. She bleaches hers, you brush yours. Yours is genuine and rare, hers is to often and sometimes fake." He rambles. I let him. "Yours is striaght. Natural... and.." he pauses, biting his lip. "What's the word?"

Then a light bulb lights up in his head and he smiles. "Perfect." He finishes at that, awaiting my reaction from his little compare-and-contrast moment. I smile, a real one, and stay quiet. "Thank you." I mutter before I hear Nathan's voice.

Panic washes over me and Jacob grabs my hand as I turn around. "Hey, dinner at 8?" He says. "Dey's Deli grand re-poeing is being held tonight and I want you to come."

"Nadia!" Nathan calls again.

I shake my head, my chest burning with guilt, and watch as he slumps for a second. Then he's back on his feet. "Maybe another time?" Then I hold up a finger and smile one more time.

"Maybe." I say to him before catching up with Nathan. He's bound to kill me, but hey, it's worth it for one moment with Jacob.

Wait. What am I saying? I can't be happy! Ever. Sick parents, gay brother (but I love him), and a forbidden love. That's nothing worth smiling for.

So why am I smiling?

Jacob.