In Blue Sweaters (boyxboy)

Chapter 5

Lo's POV

After sharing a couple of donuts, I let Sham drop me off in a park far from the Firths' house but just enough to be a walking distance for me. I don't intend to let him know exactly where I live. One day, maybe. But today is still far away from that day.

I recalled the events prior and during our meetup and it wasn't that exciting, kind of unexpected in a boring and predictable way. But still, the usual tiresome and lackluster stuff I expected. You know, almost died, the usual. Met a couple of pea brained hired assassins, the usual. But what irked me most was that nothing had been really solved from what I wanted solved. I had an agenda, for Christ's sake. Clock's ticking and I know for a fact whoever wants me waits for nobody. And yet I need to have a little faith in something so absurd, that somehow things will turn out exactly as planned. Quite a reach but I have to. Let's just say that hope still lingers in the air. I know Sham's a man of his word and if he said he'll find me somewhere to hide, he will find me a place. I just wish there's still some patience in me for that. Or the circumstance I'm in, for that matter.

I rubbed my eyebrows again, trying to calm myself. I've told myself quite a few of times to get rid of this mannerism because it makes me look sick and inferior, yet nobody seemed to have noticed so I'll probably be fine with it. It's still 5:30 in the morning and the sun hasn't risen yet, although any minute now it's about to. The air is warm, it's unfamiliar because usually in the places I've stayed, in these hours, cold air occupies even heated rooms. I checked the house and I doubt anyone is awake, they don't seem to be the morning type of people. I clutched the carton box full of glazed donuts in one hand while eating some of it on the other. I opened the door to the Firths' house and walked in in tiptoes hoping no one was up already. The lights were off, a good sign. I sigh as I placed the box on the kitchen table trying as close as possible to make no sound. Then the lights turned on and as I turned around, wide blue eyes stared at me. Biting his lip. Almost quivering.

"H-hi. I didn't know you're awake. Donuts?" I said as I raised the Dunkin donuts box inquiringly, trying hard as I might not to sound suspicious. Tay was standing close to me. Too close for my liking. He's taller than most people but shorter than me still so he had to look up while glaring.

"Where did you go at 4:30 in the morning?" He asked straightforward, curious but at the same time shaking. Why, is he afraid of something? The dark perhaps?

"How did you know I went outside 4:30? You spyin' on me or what?" I asked dismissively although it seemed he wouldn't falter anytime soon. I hate his nagging curiosity, some part of me wants to teach the petulant boy a lesson or two but I couldn't let him know what I am and who I am. It would just be another headache on my list. I have to let him stick to what he thought and knew about me, even if I had to put a façade of being a mama's and daddy's boy just vacationing for the summer, when all of it's entirely wrong.

"Couldn't sleep and heard someone sneaking out an hour ago. Smart for me to think it'd be my parents, wouldn't it?" He tried to goad me but I brushed it aside. Oh what I could do with that smartass mouth of him.

"Just went out and got myself some donuts, sir. Nothing too serious." I raised both my hands up in mock defeat.

"Yeah right, 'nothing too serious'. You should put that in a shirt." He folded his arms as he answered me, challenging me. Trying to search for a specific response. Probing. I could see it in his way of grilling, he certainly wanted to extract a specific information. Talking isn't my best asset but I'm a damn good actor with what years of field work I have. I didn't back down and folded my arms as well.

"Actually, it's none of your business." And as soon as I said that, I almost regretted it. It was just last night when we talked like normal people in the room/closet or whatever he calls it. It heaved a sigh from me knowing we were in some kind of agreement, sort of being in good terms perhaps, and I don't have to face his angst from time to time. Yet here I am, facing him and almost snarling, trying to make myself look bigger even though I already have the height advantage. Although I hate him prying with my private life, I admit it's a little fun and refreshing to have banters and to bicker with him. Feeling the tension radiate between the two of us. Trying to size each other up and waiting for someone to attack first. Oh, I certainly won't. For now. But everyone's a bomb with a fuse, and mine's just been lit already.

"Have it your way then." He said as he stormed off the kitchen. Well that was... off. Strange, to say the least, and certainly off. Pride usually gets the best of him and doesn't back down. I expected him to be a little more, resistant, for lack of a better word. I might have miscalculated, and that's saying a lot because I, too, am a prideful person, and I know how to provoke one. Something's really off and it bothered him so much I noticed he let himself fidget as he stalked away from me. But what's gone in the wind can never be caught. I guess if I said my business was my business, then that applies for him as well, although I was really an asshole. Well, we both were. Yet I won't pry, it's for him to think through. I scurried upstairs and went inside my room, hoping things would miraculously be better without anyone doing anything about it.

***

I guess life just doesn't work that way.

A week had passed by swiftly and routinely almost, aside from the fact that Tay seemed on edge every time he sees me. He hadn't initiate talks anymore (well it was only one time but I had hopes) and had only answered in single syllables. I tried to smile at him once and although he attempted to smile back, it's in a sort of distorted way with a tight-lipped smile and furrowed brows. It's disturbing and frustrating at the same time. Disturbing, because he looked like Chuckie and frustrating, because I don't know what to do about it. Whenever we come in any contact at all, like my arm on his shoulder or me grabbing him, he flinches and almost immediately shoves it away. I guess he really took it seriously when I said my business wasn't his business. Oh for crying out loud, what's up with all these businesses anyway?

I shouldn't be affected at all, I know I shouldn't. I'm not... entirely sure of it? I brought this to myself and I don't know if it's backfired or not, I couldn't seem to decide. I couldn't seem to decide whether I missed his smartass mouth or his nagging curiosity or just the thought of him on his knees looking up at me with those eyes I've been thinking about for quite some time now. I shook my head trying to erase whatever thoughts I have, certain thoughts I've kept only for myself. I certainly don't like where this is going and it's making me indecisive. One thing's sure though, and as much as I hate to admit it, but his silence does bother me. Perhaps too much that I found myself in front of his room without any idea how and why.