Choosing Dauntless

Tears Run Like Rivers

   As I ran through the darkness to Amity I could feel the fire in my lungs rising up my throat. When the barn came into sight I cried out "Mama! Mama!" Aside from the pounding of my feet and ragged panting, the night was silent.

I was a few yards away from the barn when I could see a sliver of light peeking out from under the door. Which was then thrown open with a sudden violence that only a mother could control.

Light flooded onto me. Seeing her in the doorway I fell to my knees crying and coughing struggling to pull air back into my lungs. 

  She rushed across the small distance from the barn to where I was. putting an arm around me holding a lantern in the other. She prodded me "Elijah what's got you so upset?" I think she must have realized it'd be a while before I'd be able to talk. She ushered me to my feet bringing me inside she locked the door once we were over the threshold. 

Once we were inside she walking me up to the stairs, urging me to take a seat on the bed. Taking her place beside me.

"Are you alright, what happened?"

concerned, she lays an arm across my shoulders. Causing my body to recoil in pain from her touch.

Watching her concern morph into despair she spoke just about a whisper.
"Let me see..."

Everything became blurred as my tears began to run like a river. I lift my shirt and snap my eyes shut, I couldn't bear to see what undoubtedly would have been anguish.

There was only silence, not a single sound came from anywhere in or out of the house. "Wait here I'll see what I can do."

Mama jo finally spoke and began to search for a medical kit. I couldn't help but feel this was my fault. It's always my fault.

My father is a well-respected man with the single highest IQ of erudite. He was originally from candor, and my mother transferred from amity.

Somehow they were unfortunate enough to have me as their son. I could make it in erudite I know this, but I know I belong in dauntless.

As soon as father had his... punishments for me being a disappointment only became worse.

Just then mama jo speaks up informing me about what's about to happen. "We have to disinfect the wounds, it's going to sting a bit."

I nod holding in my breath as it usually helps me not feel as much pain. Touching lightly on my gashes with a wet cotton ball I could feel the dull sting.

I've felt pain times this tenfold, this sting was nothing. I can't imagine what my father will do if my aptitude test does show the results he wants.

"Alright," mama spoke softly "I can start applying the ointment and bandages."
Fear coursed through my veins  I shot off the bed

"If you do he'll know you help me,  he'll come after you too!" She shook her head furrowing her brow while locking eyes with me

Her tone was firm and commanding "no he will think you went to a doctor and that's what you'll say."

For whatever reason, I felt my muscles relax like this somehow made sense. That he wouldn't be angry about it being a doctor.

I let her finish treating my wounds, estimating the best way to tell my father.

Standing up I thank mama and tell her good night making the long walk back dreading every step I took.

By the time I made it back everyone was asleep, everyone besides my father. He stared at me with cold loveless eyes.

In the dark room that was only illuminated by the light of the moon. His eyes were the only thing I could see, they had always been a dark stormy blue threatening to swallow me whole and steal the air from my lungs.

"Where have you been." His words made my stomach lurch. I had to keep my nerves under control.

"I went for a run to think things over and to have my, back checked by the doctor." I lied feeling a fuzzy kind of sick all over.

Raising an eyebrow his only response was a deep and ominous "Oh?" Taking in a breath I continued "you're right I belong here in erudite I won't transfer to dauntless."

I'm not stupid I may be worthless, but, I know I'm not stupid. As long as he believes for the next two days that I won't transfer he might show some mercy.

My supposed revelation seemed to please him. He even smiled, I have never once seen him smile. Even when my sister was born he remained unmoved.

"I knew you'd come to your senses my son." Standing he strolled towards me I flinched as he set a hand on my shoulder.

"Get some rest." He whispered to me then left, into the darkness of my parents' bedroom.