past and present

fallout

TWO YEARS LATER.
It had been two years since the boys had given up searching for Simon and Roger. The boys had theories that they killed themselves, killed each other, tried to swim off the island or were living in the cave atop the mountain. Of course, none of these were true. But there was no way for the boys to know that.
It had been two years since William had adopted his new identity, two years since Ralph had finally bonded with Jack, and two years since Jack gave up on his love for Roger. It felt like forever ago that the boys gave up on hope of rescue. Perhaps it was only yesterday the last lil'un accepted that his father wasn't going to come save him. Despair fell over the island like a thick wool blanket, suffocating the joy and life out of the beach where innocence and a pure spirit once ruled. The fun was over now. A smile was a rarity, a laugh was precious energy wasted. Grief over what could've been hung around the boys in a thick cloud, blocking out the sun.

Ralph felt like the only one that still tried to retain a positive outlook, even though the fallout of the island had affected him the worst. He had given up trying to control his powers, and the emotions of the boys flooded every waking second. His only consolation was the hope that Lillie was out there somewhere, waiting for his return. Ralph dreamed vividly about her each night. The curve of her hips, the smell of her hair, the way the laughed. It all came rushing back to him at night, the one time he could escape the cage of the island.

RALPH'S POV
Yesterday I felt something. I don't know what, but I woke up in the middle of the night with a sense of... I don't even know. I've felt this way before, but only in my First Life. That's what we're calling our experiences before the crash. I find myself only remembering snippets of things mixed with emotions of love and hate, never anything else. Everything here is so bland, so never changing that it's hard to believe life was anything other than the island. But Lillie brings me back to reality; the memory of my fingers in her hair, her lips on my cheek-

There it is again.

It's so strong this time I can finally put my finger on it.

I can feel her.

SOMEWHERE IN BERLIN
"Lillie, stop daydreaming and get to work!"

The words pierced into my soul as I reluctantly turned to face my mother. Her face softened when she saw the dried tears on my cheeks.

"I just can't stop thinking about him, mama." I rubbed my face tiredly. "I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't breathe without-"

"Look, Lillie, it's been two years. Years, sweetheart. I know it's hard, but sometimes we just have to accept things as they are. Ralph's gone."

"NO!" My face heated with anger. "He's not gone, mama! I just know that he's out there, somewhere. It's a gut feeling. And don't say that I have to move on. How could I? I love him! And I'm going to be here when he comes back for me!"

I stormed upstairs, not wanting to deal with the helpless look on her face. I hated these fights, but I knew deep down that I was right. Throwing myself on my bed, I tried to forget the whole ordeal. Sleep quickly overcame me.

Sunlight streamed through the branches of a tall, exotic tree as the wind rustled its leaves. Propping myself up on my elbows, I looked around. I was in the middle of a forest of tall trees and ferns that seemed to thrive in the hot sun. Standing up, I began to hear the sound of the ocean. The crashing waves beckoned to me, and I let the sea tug me to the sand. Taking off my shirt, I let the sun kiss my bare chest. For some reason I felt calm and safe here. The landscape was so serene, so peaceful, as if nothing had disturbed it in a million years. Closing my eyes, I enjoyed the headspace I was in.

"It-it worked?!"

Someone was stumbling out of the forest, heavily panting as though they had been running for a while.

Turning, I saw a boy about my age with a nest of hair covering his eyes. He had fair hair and a slender body, only wearing a pair of dirty shorts. Looking down, I embarrassedly crossed my arms over my bosom.

"What did? Who are you?"

In a swift motion he pushed the hair out of his face to expose clear sky blue eyes and a freckled nose. His shocked expression had wilted into a sorrowful smile.

"Do you not remember me, Lil?"

Before I knew it I was in his arms, both of us crying and falling to the sand.

"How could I forget?"

The words were mumbled into a pillow, bringing me back to reality. Screaming, I pleaded to go back to the beach, back to the life where I was happy, back to the time when memories didn't need to be dusted off like an old photograph. It felt so real, so vivid that I was unsure if it actually happened. I scratched my head. There was sand under my fingernails.