Another week, another milly in the bank on warframe, today's chapter is named after the recent Nightwave and it's big bad "The Wolf of Saturn Six", in celebration of my acquisition of the wolf's sledgehammer.
Finally I can live my lifelong dream of being a strong boy and throwing sledgehammers at people I don't like.
As always, previous chapters and external linkage is below, don't forget to upvote and comment, I love hearing from the fans and as always, stay cheeki breeki
Be me, Britfag
Be hyped because of wolf sledge
Don't be britfag now, be britfag back then
noawoozone.tenno
Be me, Britfag of Christmas past
Next day at school, minding my own business.
Having lunch with my nobility of normalfags
And with FWB
Sitting in my lap
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The squad and i were camped out on our usual spot, by the lockers on the top floor
When suddenly
"BrItFhEeEg! We MeEt AgAiN."
Awh fuck not now...
Not this guy!
Willem in all of his infinite fucktardery had sparked enough neurons to make the realisation that i had attended this school.
After what I did to him last year, he was now an endentured, mangled and dickless shell of a creature.
This ofcourse didn't stop him from retaining his unfathomably grotesque weeb/ furfag hybrid status
If anything the massacre made him infinitely more retarded
"YhEu WoN't GeT AwAy WiTh WhAt YoU dId To Me!"
Just as I went to get up I bared witness to something that was, to a simple Britfag, equally the most disgusting and at the same time, heavenly sight.
Willem had summoned a consort of weebtards to his cause, all of them a trifecta of weeaboo, retard and neckbeard, slobbering like untamed beasts.
At the time I couldn't tell if the blood that engorged my nethers was sent there out of lust for my at the time girlfriend, or out of rage at the sight of these abominations.
All I knew back then was that I was a boy, She was a girl, They were tards And I needed an outlet.
Setting FWB on the ground I get up, and almost as though we were a pack, the rest of the squad got up and stood at my back.
Were we in this day and age, I have no doubt that the roundtable would've T-Posed to assert our dominance before whaling on these ungodly pieces of trash.
But this was the late 200x's and We didn't have vine or snapchat back then, pretty sure worldstar was in it's infancy back then though, might look it up later and let you know in the comments.
Back to the story though.
I knew I wouldn't be able to get away with brutalising this derpy motherfucker in the middle of the corridors, but I knew i'd be able to get away with self defence.
Trigger the tard with: "Not that it made much of a difference to your chances of continuing your families muddied bloodline, what woman in their right mind would willingly let you near them? that goes for "any" of you for that matter."
tasteslikeimightdie.cyanide
Nothing but venom dripping from these words.
Tards told they were untouchable abominations.
Tards told they'll be kissless virgins forever
Goes double for willem
Whole band of angry spuds.
roundone.mortalkombat
Willem goes apeshit and rushes me first.
Since our last encounter he had gotten heavier and much more retarded
I however, had only gotten stronger.
much, much stronger.
Turn sideways and Snap kick willem in his already horribly mangled face
Cycling everywhere gave me legs for days
Kick this guy with the might of a horse.
Hear a loud crack as I floor the pitiful bastard in 1.
His face may as well had been split open with how badly I had busted his nose, for the second time.
Blood pissing out of his faceholes
gitkrumpt.gork
neversawitcomin.mork
Immediately turn my back on the remaining weebtards as they charge into the skirmish, only to be laid out by the squad
Feelin' like a badass until my physics teacher for the time stopped me and wrangled me into the science department office
(for the sake of anonymity, he will be called "doctor crowler", an upvote to the man, woman or spud in the audience who can tell me where that reference is from)
Instantly starts grilling me for what I just did
MFW
Tell him to get off my back and leave me alone
"BuT YoU jUsT aTtAcKeD a TaRd"
"Out of self defence you squealing old fuckwit! he ran right at me, and 4 more are accosting my friends right now!"
"BuT tHeY dOn'T KnOw BeTtEr, YoU dO"
MFW Tard privilege
"Go TeW DeH PrInCiPuHlSh AwFiSh!"
"I got a better idea, how about I go over to your house and fuck your wife, She clearly needs a man with a spine"
"WuH dEeD YeU jUsT sAy YuNg MaN?!"
"You heard me fat man, you can shove your orders right up the principals ass and give him a reach around while you're at it, I ain't gonna take blame for defending myself and neither are my boys!"
"gEt OuT oF My OfFiCe NoW!"
Proceed to walk out of there with 0 fucks given and a new enemy gained.
In truth he had been trying to ride my ass for the slightest breaking of the rules since day one, he didn't start witch-hunting me until that point, fuck him anyway, he lost his teaching license a year later.
The rest of the day went on peacefully.
Found out later from the squad that willem was sent to the hospital again after i sent him back to the shadow realm, never saw him again after that, likely removed for his own safety.
1 down 4 to go.
When the hunt begins
YOU ARE READING
The Britfag Saga
Non-FictionA tale of intrigue, bloodshed, war and tarddom for the ages, come on a journey through time, space and chromesomes as i recount the days of yore, when i was but a young boy with anger management issues and raging hormones.
