Amanda was lying on her bed, staring at the smooth metal of the ceiling. She could not feel Selik at all. He had been totally gone from her head for almost two hours now.
She tried meditating, but the empty bond centers in her mind were raw. It hurt so badly to try, and now that Selik was gone, everything felt wrong.
When Selik entered the room, she was jolted from her attempt at meditation.
“Amanda,” he said, his voice reserved.
“Selik, are you okay?” She sat up and looked over at him. He was still blocking her.
He nodded.
Her words tumbled over each other as she spoke. “I didn’t realize it was bothering you so much. I would never have done it. I’m sorry,” she looked down, ashamed. “I just get caught up in myself sometimes, you know?”
“I felt that I was the only one taking our situation seriously, Amanda,” he said. He sat on the bed across from her.
“I know. I know it’s serious, Selik. I swear. I’ll help you figure this out. I just thought…I just thought I could have a bit of fun in the mean time.” She shrugged. It all felt so stupid now. She wanted Selik back.
“I cannot say that I understand, but I do know my sister.” Selik’s small smile made her relax.
“I can help with the transporter,” she offered. “I know I haven’t been studying as much as you about it, but I learn quickly.” She was plenty smart, Vulcan smart. She could catch up, and she could make it up to her brother.
“Your help would be appreciated,” Selik said. He was watching her intently, but without the link, she found she could not read him.
“What happened, Selik? You haven’t yelled like that in over two years.” She wanted to touch him, to show him how much she cared, but he made no move to lower the walls between them so neither would she.
“I lost control. I need meditation, Amanda. And I had not been able to achieve it,” he admitted, looking down.
“Had not? So you were able to meditate?” She was glad for him.
“Commander Spock helped me,” Selik said, stiffly.
Her stomach plummeted at his words.
“You let Spock meld with you?” Her voice betrayed her disbelief.
“Yes,” Selik’s voice was hesitant.
“But he’s a stranger! He’s not Father.”
“He is hardly a stranger! And he is not Father, but he will be,” Selik insisted.
“After all the crap you gave me about melding with Noah?”
“Commander Spock will be our Father. Noah McCoy is just some boy you think is physically appealing.” Any warmth that had been in Selik’s voice was gone.
