Promise

•Promise 1•

As I looked around the room, a sudden rush of emptiness flooded my insides.

Nothing new

I sighed, walking over to my bedside table, looking at the various pictures that made memories rush back, hitting me like a ton of boulders all at once. But it wasn't new.

The pain wasn't anything new

I sighed, not realizing that I was crying until a single drop fell onto a specific picture I was staring at, causing more tears to come flooding out my eyes, but I couldn't feel them. I was emotionless, yet I was crying. But I guess that's what pain does to you.

It breaks you so much that you don't even feel yourself breaking until it's too late to fix anything

I sighed once again, it coming out as a sob before I made my way towards my dresser, opening a drawer and desperately searching for the one thing that can end everything. I should have done it a long time ago. I was ready to do it. But he always stopped me. And I always believed him. I used to believe him.

And as my fingers felt the familiar yet foreign bottle which held my ticket to peace, a wave of relief and fear washed over me. But I ignored it. I wasn't going to back down now. I no longer had a reason to back down from this.

But as I stood up from my chair, my foot hit the side of the vanity, causing a box of my old stuff to tumble over, various objects scattering on the floor. One of which happened to be an old video camera. His video camera.

Seeing it made anger and sadness erupt from my stomach and bubble upwards, causing a loud sob to escape my mouth as my legs gave out, the pain becoming too much to bear.

I screamed, and cried, and thrashed, and cursed at him for doing that to me, and even so, I still felt the tingling sensation in my stomach at the thought of him. I still loved him. I will always love him.

And with that thought, I made my way towards the video camera and picked it up.

If I was going to end all the suffering today, might as well feel the worst of the pain before the ultimate peace.

Then I opened it, only to see video after video saved on it's memory roll.

Promise 1

The first video read, making me furrow my brows in the midst of my tears, and deciding against my better judgement to not play it as I pressed the play button at the top of the device. And as soon as I did, his angelic voice filled the air, causing a stabbing pain to shoot through my heart.

Why did you have to leave me?

I thought before I focused on the words he said. Every smile and every syllable that came out of his mouth was like a jab to the gut, my sobs coming out louder, making it harder to breath, but despite it I listened to him. I listened as his words shot me again and again. As his words poured salt over my open wounds. As his words broke me again. As he broke me again.

"Please promise me you'll eat better, I can't stand hearing your stomach growl while you use the excuse 'I need to lose weight' because you don't. You're perfect and I love you. I will always love you. Now promise me please"

A/N

So that was the first chapter! I hope you guys enjoy and keep on reading! The next chapters won't be as long and it won't have an author's note until the very last one. See you all at the last chapter!💕

-S.H.💜