TRAGICALLY BROKEN: The Broken Series (Damaged, Book 1) (RE-IMAGINED & EXTENDED)

THIRTY-NINE

GAVIN

I flinch, feeling Hannah's verbal blow deep in my sternum as applause surrounds her. Like a physical jab, it strikes me square in the chest, knocking the air out of my lungs. It was deliberate—meant to maim. Still, I don't think she understands how easily the blunt words hit their intended target. Because, despite having woken up naked in Gabby's bed—our bodies tangled together, and my arm wrapped around her waist—I have no memory of how I got there or how I could've betrayed her the way I did.

My stomach churns like it's been wrung through an agitator.

I've hurt her.

I did the very thing I was scared I'd do.

Even when her barbed attack forced me to walk away two weeks ago, I knew I would've found my way back. Eventually. We were so interwoven with one another that when one got separated, the other unravelled. I was already falling apart, and I know somewhere inside she was falling apart, too.

Despite the way we left things.

"Did I mean nothing to you? Was everything you said a lie?" Disgust and hurt shimmer in Hannah's almond eyes as she delivers another blow.

Seeing her quivering lips and trembling body makes bile rise in my throat.

"I meant every word. You mean everything to me." My voice splinters with emotion, scraping so deep it makes my throat swell.

No truer words have ever been spoken. But when she scoffs, I know she doesn't believe me. Why would she? I shattered her trust and let my actions imply otherwise. They enforced what she believed all along, that I mentally walked out on her before my feet ever did. But that couldn't be any further from the truth. I never stopped thinking about her, and I sure as hell never stopped loving her.

I was too thick to see everything falling apart. I shouldn't have walked away. I should've been honest from the start.

"I guess your everything doesn't mean much."

She wraps herself in a hug and turns to leave. I know if I let her walk away, she'll never come back, so I do the only thing I can do. I beg. I ramble. I try to explain as fast as I can before she's gone.

"Stop, please. Hannah, wait!" She pauses mid-spin, and I thank God for the tiny miracle. "I don't know how this happened. I was so upset about losing you. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. And when I tried to study, I couldn't think—"

"It's been her?! She's who you've been seeing? Your tutor?" Her eyes widen, and her voice becomes pitchy as she aligns the pieces in her head.

"Yeah. But it's not what you think. It wasn't like that. We were only studying—until last night. I needed a distraction—to forget you—and I had a few drinks and I—I don't remember what happened. I don't remember sleeping with her. You have to believe me. Please. Please believe me." Tears swell in my eyes as my heart thrashes inside my chest. "I love you, Hannah. I don't want anyone but you."

"You don't know what love is!"

Her cries prick at my ears, tearing at me, ripping me apart at the seams. Her body shudders as I hear the click of the door behind me.

No, no, no. Not now.

Please, not now.

"Gavin, Hun. You forgot these."

Ice hardens my spine, and I stiffly turn to see Gabby standing, unapologetic, in the doorway with a blanket wrapped around her like a towel, a smug smile plastered on her face, and my underwear dangling on her fingertips.

My breathing stutters.

My heart stops.

Hesitantly, I pivot my head back around. "Hannah?"

She slaps a hand over her mouth to stifle her wails as she sprints the several feet into Ryan's chest. Once again, I'm aching for breath as I watch her take solace in him.

I'm going to lose her forever.

I reach for her.

I hear the crunch before I feel the pain.

Hard knuckles slam into me, whipping my head sideways. I stumble, nearly tripping over the sheet pooling beneath my feet, and shake away the stars flitting across my vision. The taste of copper pools on my tongue, and I rub out my jaw.

Ryan shakes out his hand, looking at me with contempt in his eyes and a snarl on his lips. "Don't you even think about touching her." He strokes her back, my girl's back reassuringly. "I hope it was worth it, man, 'cause you just lost the best damn thing you've ever had."

He tucks Hannah under his arm as hers bands around his waist. He's holding her close when Charlotte hugs her from the other side. Together, they walk away.

She doesn't look back.

Like a statue, I stare at their backs as they part the crowd and leave, taking my heart with them, feeling helpless. Hopeless. My hands go to my hair and pull at the strands, needing to inflict pain on myself for what I've done.

I'm an asshole.

A stupid fucking asshole.

"How could I have done this?" I mumble to myself, numb, trying to rationalize the situation I'm in, blankly watching as the audience of my stupidity finally disperses.

I thickly swallow and swat away my tears.

Why can't I remember anything?

I only had the equivalent of five shots—not nearly enough to take someone of my size past a good buzz. And sure as hell not enough to make me lose my damn mind.

I stretch my jaw, spitting the remnants of Ryan's bloody reprimand on the floor in front of me and rub my tongue over a loosened tooth.

"You knew exactly what you were doing." Gabby inches closer, tracing the ridges down my stomach. She licks her lips. "You wanted me, Gavin. I gave you what you needed."

I wrench away, forcing her hands to fall. Her eyes narrow on mine, irritated by the slight.

"I don't remember any of it."

"That's a shame because I'm pretty sure you were at the top of your game."

Panic shoots through me.

"Oh, God. Did I remember to—?"

Following my train of thought, she finishes, "Wrap it? I'm nice to look at, but not dumb. I know you've been around, so I insisted."

I exhale a cleansing breath, feeling a tiny weight lifted off my shoulders.

"How did I make such a mess of things?" I groan, rubbing the back of my neck, staring at the empty hall ahead.

"If you really can't remember, I can show you. Maybe try for something a little more memorable." She winks, making me cringe.

"I don't know what got into me last night, but this—" I wave my finger between us, "—can't happen again. I love Hannah. It'll always be her."

"You've loved a lot of women."

"Not like I love her."