A Thousand Moments

twenty-two: to the stars, please

The school's courtyard is buzzing with students. They sit along the flowerbeds, under the trees where the picnic tables are, and in the softest tufts of grass. The weather seems to be slowly warming up more than it had been.

I watch everyone from against the wall nearest the door, wondering what they could possibly be so happy about. I wonder what the causes of their smiles are, what are the subjects of their conversations? Where did they come from and where are they going?

It dawns on me that this is something Layla would say. She's always paying attention to the people around her. It also dawns on me that I'm just sitting here staring at the students I go to school with. Not weird at all.

The words from Layla's room earlier come back to my mind, and I wonder if I will ever be worthy of the way she thinks of me. She truly tries to see the best in people; even people like me who don't deserve even a smile half the time. She gives her whole entire heart, even when she cannot afford to.

"Hey," I hear someone say. I recognize her voice a second after she speaks, but I don't look up.

When I don't answer her, she sits down beside me, not taking her eyes off me. I begin to grow annoyed to the point where I just want to get up and leave, but something keeps me there. Her opinion matters too much. She's made me see that the way I've treated people in the past is not the way I should.

As she would say, what would Jesus do?

I turn my head to look at Casey. She smiles and it's almost like she's a different person.

"Yeah?" I ask, attempting to not show what I actually feel towards her. Pure aggravation.

Her smiles slightly falters. "So, where's that girlfriend of yours?" I want to laugh. She almost sounds... concerned.

I take a deep breath in and let it out. "She's stable. Currently getting checked out." I make sure not to go into too much detail. Who knows what this girl is capable of?

She nods her head slowly. "I've known Layla for years. We used to be kind of close, you know? But... she never told me she was sick."

I glance at her through the corner of my eyes, unsure of how serious she is. For the first time since I met her, Casey looks nervous. She wriggles her hands together as she looks ahead.

"You should go see her." My own words surprise me. Any other time, Casey would have been my type. I would have liked her; but Layla wormed her way into my life without even trying, and with her help, I saw the real Casey.

But is there a reason Casey is the way she is? Is there a reason she treats people the way she does like there was a reason I acted the way I did – and still do?

Casey hesitates for a while, her eyes going from the ground to the sky. "I doubt she'd want to see me."

"Layla is a forgiving person. If she wasn't, she and I would not be together, that's for sure."

Casey looks at me now, her face a mixture of anxiety and disappointment.

"She is a good person. I know she is. I just..."

I push myself up from the ground and stick my hand out for Casey to take. She reaches for it a moment later and allows me to help her up. We both dust off our uniforms.

"Whatever it is between you two, Layla will be happy to talk to you about it. Peacefully. I think that's all she's wanted."

Casey lowers her gaze from mine. "Yeah. Maybe I'll stop by."

I nod my head though she doesn't see me. "Cool. I'll see you later?"

To my surprise, she grins. "Sure. Oh, and Jonah?"