How Did I Ever Love You?

Chapter 21: Freedom's Soon

Sensitive subject matter. Not much but I'll still put the warning

England's pov

Days passed by and France only got worse and worse. He mostly only said bad things over text, and honestly I'm running out of room to care. He makes me feel horrible about myself, and only talks about Spain and how great he is. I didn't know how to feel about him really, I mean they both kinda kick me to the curb but he's never said anything bad to me. France seems to never want me around anymore, but then cries and complains when I miss a day of school. Of course is fine for him to miss an entire week, that's cool. Maybe I'm overreacting. Although right now, I had to listen to my dad yell at me about now doing my work right, while my mom just watched and rarely spoke her opinion.

"I'm sorry..." I would mutter under my breath every few minutes, desperately trying to not let any tears flow from my eyes.

"Now what are you crying for?!"

"I'm not!" I yelled back, my voice cracking horribly. He finally calmed down and I turned around and smiled, not knowing how to feel anymore. I walked in defeat back to my room and just laid on my bed, just wanting to disappear. I get such mixed singles about how people would feel if I was gone. All I want to do is die, see how people would react, then come back a few hours later and have nothing change. Though for the time being, the only thing on my mind is how easy it would be to go pick up that gun and end my suffering. A few minutes later, my mom and dad walked in, making me a little nervous. Like, what did I do now?

"Okay so listen. I know you turned it down before, but I think now it's a bit too much. We both really think homeschooling would be the best for you." Mom explained she sat down next to me.

"At least consider it."

"Yes. Okay." I didn't have to think, I was sick of everything I put up with every day. If I stayed at home, no more stressing over due dates, no more waking up at five am, no more forgetting assignments! I would turn this offer down again, but there's nobody there who I care about anymore. Well one, but it's not like we can't still communicate. So the decision was made, maybe the pain will subside for now, and I love my parents for allowing it to.

Later

The first plan was to wait until this school year was over, and start homeschooling the next. Though my parents thought 'why wait?'. Long story short, it'll start in a few weeks. I didn't say anything until the last few days, mostly because I didn't think anyone really gave a shit what I did. During those few weeks, I slowly started to put less and less effort than I already did in my work, and I was not afraid to let my teachers know what would be happening. They kinda needed to know now that I think about it... There are a few voices in the back of my mind telling me not to hold onto a few friendships anymore. Maybe they were bound to break anyway...