The Found Wolf (boyxboy)

Chapter 16

Jacob's POV

Watching from behind the couch as my mate and his family had their moment, my heart was full. The smile I sent Connor as he peered at me from over Kayden's shoulder was nothing other than purely genuine. However, that didn't stop my heart from hurting. 

Connor's story, of him being beaten, violated, kept in a cage, it formed a weight in my chest that only seemed to sink. My beautiful, strong mate was hurt so much, for so long. Part of me wanted to scream, break things, sprint into the belly of the beast and rip every person in that hell hole who laid a finger on Connor to pieces. Granted, that was the animalistic part of me and my wolf agreed. He was seething with rage. The other part wanted to hold Connor in my arms and never let go. It wanted to sob at the thought of my mate being harmed. 

Granted those self-deprecating thoughts were also still sitting there in the back of my mind, whispering. I'm not good enough. I can't help Connor. I'm not strong enough. Connor deserved someone strong to help him carry the weight of this right along with him. I could barely carry my own baggage without shattering, what good am I going to be to Connor now?

I shook my head, trying my best to distract myself from that particular voice. My meetings with Kayden now had been partly me learning techniques on how to be an active listener, how to help Connor during nightmares and panic attacks as he started getting flashbacks and remembering his past. The other had been dealing with my issues, learning to differentiate between constructive thoughts and destructive thoughts. I was supposed to refute any destructive thoughts with constructive ones. 

I closed my eyes and dropped my head, trying to focus on breathing and maintaining constructive thoughts. The voice wanted to tell me I wasn't good enough but I think, for now, I'm handling myself pretty well, especially since I managed to get Connor to smile after a nightmare. And, even though I may not have the strength to handle all of Connor's trauma alone, I won't have to. Kayden and Paxton and the rest of Connor's family all cared and were willing to help, both with Connor and with me. I had to remember that. 

I took another deep breath and opened my eyes, looking up to see Aria and Emery peeking around the doorway from the kitchen nervously. A smile pulled at my face as I looked toward them.

"What's going on?" Aria asked, walking up next to me with Emery beside her, clutching her hand. He looked nervously at the display in front of us.

"Well, Connor's memories came back. All of them, I believe." I say, trying to keep my voice light and my expression soft, so as not to scare Emery even more. 

Aria whipped her head around to look at me. "Really?" She nearly yelled, her eyes the size of saucers. 

I nodded and she nearly tripped over herself, yanking her hand out of Emery's grasp and running over to join the group hug her family was sharing. 

When I looked back to Emery, he seemed a little shaky and maybe even pale. My heart raced a little. Everything in him was telling me to help him, to ease his nerves but I wasn't really sure how. I wiped my hands on my pants before shifting a step over so I was next to him and then squatted a little so I was closer to his height. 

"Hey," I said before placing a hand on his shoulder. He looked over at me, his green eyes wide, almost hidden beneath the curtain of blonde hair covering them. "Are you okay?" I asked quietly, trying not to let how nervous I was show in my voice. 

He looked back at the family before dropping his gaze down to his feet. "He remembers everything? All of it?" Emery's voice came out quiet, I could barely hear him over the sniffles and voices of Connor and the others. 

"I believe so. It seemed like it when he was telling me what happened. Why?" I asked, trying to employ Kayden's active listening tactics. I kept my eyes on Emery, even though he wasn't listening.