Even though I don't see my grandparents in the Philippines, my biological dad, or my Auntie that much, their expectations and confidence of me being smart is weighing me down. I don't want to let anyone down, including my mom. That's why I don't tell anybody how I'm really doing in schoolwork and grades. I lie and say that I got mostly A's but really, I'm a C at best. I feel like a fraud. Somebody that is different from what they think of me. I'm really the dumbass but to them, I'm Einstein. My Auntie is bragging to her coworkers and friends about my college entrance exam (really an AP exam but she doesn't know about those too much) and grades. My mom said that I'm a very intelligent and bright girl but don't push myself to my fullest potential. I don't feel like that intelligent and bright girl but a mediocre teenager who is probably going to be a pawn to an exhausting self centered society in the future. The thing is that I know I have potential and my love for studying and learning new things is immense but I don't feel like Aristotle, Plato, Galileo, David G Myers, Albert Einstein, Martin Luther King Jr., Mary Whilton Calkins, Steve Jobs, or fuck, even Helen Keller! I just feel like a speck of dust under the couch.
Did they feel like that too?
YOU ARE READING
Random book of what I do and stuff
RandomIt's just some random ass book about me as a human being. I feel better when I write about what I feel and think. Just to avoid any lawsuits, the cover picture is not mine. Just found it in google.
