I choose you, Dan Howell (danisnotonfire fanfiction)

Chapter 11 (the final chapter)

Okay so this is the last chapter... *cries and throws the fully illustrated chronicles of Narnia hard cover at my face* I just wanted to say if you are easily triggered by self half or suicidal thoughts then I'm just warning you before you read this chapter. I'm not sure what certain people consider triggering but this chapter is all about it soooo.... You have been warned.

Lily's P.O.V

I staggered up the small rocky pathway leading to my favourite spot in England.

I dropped to my knees and then sat with my legs dangling over the edge of the cliff. The view was beautiful from here which is why it is my favourite spot.

The way to moon reflected off of the water which glistened beneath it. The crisp wind that blows in the trees making slight whistles if you turn your head in the right direction. Just beautiful.

I looked at the message I wrote to Dan and pressed send. A tear escaped my eye but it soon disappeared because the more I felt sad the more I would regret doing this.

I wasn't going to back out now.

I have been suffering from depression for almost 10 years now and just when I thought I was getting better, it has come back to crush what was left of my life in the palm of its powerful hands.

Meeting Dan was the best thing that has ever happened to me and I cannot be more thankful for him loving me. He has shown me so many more things in life that I never thought I would get to experience.

I looked down at my feet swinging back and fourth over the edge waiting for the right moment to jump.

I wasn't thinking straight at the moment but I could not be anymore sure about what I was about to do.

I gulped down the last bit of vodka that was left in the glass bottle and smashed the bottle on a large rock that was placed beside me.

I picked up the sharpest piece and made one deep cut on each wrist. I watched as the Crimson blood flowed out and onto my white t shirt.

I made more violent slashes to my arms, until I could barely see the colour off my flesh.

I stopped attacking my arms and moved to my thighs. I made several deep cuts on each side and then continued to make small but deep cuts to the rest of my thighs.

My sight started to become blurry and I smiled to myself as this is what I have been waiting to feel for so long. Freedom.

I dropped the shard of glass over the edge and looked at my legs. The blood was rushing out faster than I thought it would I started to get a bit panicked.

What am I doing?! What will Dan think?! What will Edie think of me?! And my friends! Oh no.

I realised I had gone further than I had wanted with the cuts and shook my head. 'It will all be over soon' I thought to myself and smiled at the thought again.

I pulled my legs back onto the cliff and tried to stand on my too feet without falling over the edge. Not just yet anyway.

I silently but sarcastically thanked everyone who has lead me to this point and I also said a few silent goodbyes to the ones who tried to stop me.

I realised in that moment that, it has been almost an hour since I sent Dan that text, they should be here, telling me to stop, Dan should be telling me he loves me but no one is here except me.

I sighed to myself as I heard a car pull up at the foot of the cliff and a few doors slam but I just ignored it until I head someone yelling out someone's name. My name.

I turned around in the direction of the car and saw a very blurry Dan and Edie running towards me but in an instant, the pills I had swallowed earlier were now in full effect making my eyes slip closed.

The blood dripping from my arms and my legs and the full bottle of vodka I consumed acted quickly too.

My eyes sealed shut and when I thought I was taking a step towards Dan...I took one step backwards, letting the darkness consume me As I heard the screams of the ones I loved.

No one can save me now but this isn't like Pokemon where you can just switch out your Pokemon so they can rest, no. This is real life.

But if had to select the one to save me...Id choose you, dan howell.

Awwwwwwwwwwwww did I make anyone cry???? There will also be an epilogue :) but only a brief summary of why she did what she did and dans reaction type thing.