Saracen Rue Knows Too Much

Chapter 2: Faint Talking

I didn't think it was possible, but Skulduggery paled even further, and that's saying something because my bedsheets are stark white.

"I...I'm a...a...afraid I c...can't do th...that." Skulduggery stuttered.

"Open it! Open it! Open it!" Chanted the Dead Men.

"NO!!!" Bellowed Skully, 'You don't understand! I've done terrible things in the past, and they are in that box! My secrets will stay secret!" He just sealed his own fate. The Dead Men then silently agreed that they would do everything in their power to open that case (while Dexter was wondering how actions could be in a box)...

Ghastly, Saracen, Anton, Erskine and Dexter all gathered in a private room in the sanctuary to discuss the briefcase.

"I wonder what Skulduggery's secret is." Blurted Dexter.

"I bet it's where he was those five years he was missing in the war!" Yelled Saracen in excitement, after a moments silence (nice way to get straight to the point Saracen).

"How will we get it open?" Puzzled Ghastly.

"We could just use the zip." Stated Shudder obviously.

"Ohhhh... Yeahhhh..." replied Ghastly. The 'zzzzzz' sound of the zzzzip un zzzzzzziping filled the room and the case was lifted open by Saracen.

"It's just black goop." Shudder frowned, which he did quite a lot, to be perfectly honest. "Wait a minute... That's a liquified necromancer object." (How do you know that Shudder...Hmmm... I'm suspicious...)" The way Anton stated that betrayed no excitement whatsoever, which is quite an impressive feat. 

"Skulduggery's a necromancer?" Asked Ravel. "I thought he was an elemental, he always uses water manipulation to do his laundry... Which one of you has been doing Skulduggery's laundry?"

"He's magically ambidextrous!" Screeched Dexter in delight, ignoring Ravels last comment. Ghastly smiled.

"I can't wait to see Skulduggery's face when we ask him if he was ever a necromancer. Let's do it next time he wears his façade and then let's open the case and make him angry so we can see what his necromancy object is." Squealed Ghastly in delight.

"So it's a plan." Announced Saracen Rue. "Adieu my friends, adieu." The Dead Men all walked out of the room, grinning like the Cheshire Cat. To put their plan in motion, Ravel organised for the Dead Men and Valkyrie to go and solve a case a long way away and they agreed that Dexter should activate Skulduggery's façade.

In Ghastlys van, on the road trip

"What are you lot grinning about?" Skulduggery asked the rest of the Dead Men. Suddenly Ghastly pulled over, Dexter activates Skulduggery's façade and Anton uncovers the briefcase (Dun, Dun, Dun...).

"Hey, Skulduggery, we know your secret." Declared Ravel so casually, it was creepy (like his girlfriend, Madame Mist). Skulduggery paled even whiter than a skeleton.

"You do?" Skulduggery sked, hyperventilating. "Well that's just dandy isn't it? That's why you brought me out here isn't it? You're going to kill me!" Skulduggery looked like he was going to pass out. The Dead Men were taken aback, of course they weren't going to kill Skulduggery, he's their friend, but by the sounds of the secret, he did something really vile. They wanted to tell him they weren't going to kill him but that would mess up the flow of their plans (much like that explanation is messing up the flow of the cringiness. Is that even a word?).

Ghastly turned around and looked at Skulduggery and asked, "Were you ever a necromancer?" At that Skulduggery actually fainted and Valkyrie got out of the car and threw up. She stumbled back to the van, as white as a ghost and Skulduggery murmured in his faint.

"Please don't kill me. I'm sorry Ghastly, I know I deserve it, but please, don't kill me... I wasn't myself. The Dead Men then realised how serious this situation really was. Their friend wasn't telling them something and it was eating him inside out, like termites that eat bones.

"Ghastly turned to Valkyrie and interrogated, "What do you know about this?"

Are you cringing yet? Do you cringe at the mention of Skulduggery's vile secret? More cringes are to come!