A Lover's Dream: A Deepwater Horizon Fanfic

What Do We Do Now?

Abby's POV

When I had finally gathered my strength, I quickly threw on a pair of leggings and a random t-shirt. I grabbed my keys, slipped on my shoes, and practically ran out the door. I felt numb as I quickly drove to Felicia's house.

I parked in front of her house and hesitated. Maybe I shouldn't go in there. Maybe she would rather spend the morning with Syd.

Then again, I can't be alone right now.

I tore my keys out of the ignition and headed up the steps. I softly knocked on their front door, holding my breath. The second the door opened, my eyes filled with tears as I saw a broken Felicia in front of me.

She didn't say anything as she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around me. We held each other, our shoulders shaking from the sobs.

"Abby?"

We let go of each other and turned to see Sydney in the hallway. She was still in her pajamas, her hair wasn't done, and she had tears in her eyes as she held on to the stuffed dog her dad got for her when she was little. She only ever held the puppy like that when she was sick or really upset.

I walked into their house and fell to my knees as Sydney ran towards me. I wrapped my arms tightly around me as I held her. I tried to comfort her by running my fingers through her hair and rubbing circles on her back.

She was the first to pull out of the hug, wiping her tears on her pajama shirt sleeve. I reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Mommy," she said, her voice shaky, "made pancakes. Do you want some?"

"I'd love some," I smiled softly at her. She nodded, still looking at her toes as she grabbed my hand. I stood up and let her lead me into the kitchen, Felicia following closely behind us, hugging her arms around herself.

The three of us ate in silence, none of us wanting to speak. Once we were done eating, Felicia started doing the dishes while I went upstairs and started getting Syd ready for school.

She sat at the small desk in her room as I brushed her hair.

"Pigtails or braids?" I asked gently.

"Can you do braids? With small flowers weaved in?"

"Sure," I smiled as I knew exactly what she wanted.

I found myself humming You Are My Sunshine as I did her hair. I saw her smile a little as she started humming along.

"There," I said as I wrapped the hair tie around her braid. "All done."

"Thanks, Abby."

My heart sank as she looked down at her lap and started playing with her hands. I knelt down so I was eye level to her and cupped her cheek in my hand, making her look at me.

"Everything is going to be okay," I whispered.

"How do you know?" She said, sounding like she was holding back tears.

"Because you've got your mother who loves you with everything she has and you have me, who also loves you."

"I love you too, Abby." She smiled as she wrapped her arms around my neck.

"I have some news that I think will help cheer you up," I whispered in her ear. "It's a really big secret."

"Really?" She asked excitedly as she pulled out of my arms. I nodded as I stood up, grabbed her hand and led her downstairs.

"Felicia," I said as we walked into the kitchen. My heart sank when I saw Felicia looking out the window, frozen.

"Felicia?" I said again. She hesitated before slowly turning around.

"Sydney, honey," she sighed. "You're not going to school today."

I looked down at Syd to see her nodding. I wondered if she really understood why her mother was allowing her to stay home or not.

I cleared my throat as I looked back up at Felicia. "Fel, I have some news and I'm going to need your help. I know it won't fix. . . It won't fix what happened, but maybe it will cheer us all up. Even just for a little."

Felicia looked at me before looking at an excited Syd still holding my hand. "Okay," she shrugged.

"I discovered some exciting news," I started. I took a deep breath before saying, "I'm pregnant."

"Really?" Sydney squealed. Felicia's eyes widened before filling with tears. She walked over and tightly wrapped her arms around me.

"Congratulations," she whispered.

Felicia finally pulled out of the hug, wiping her tear-stained cheek. "How far along are you?"

"A little over two months."

"Wow," she smiled. She looked at me before letting out a small laugh. "I'm guessing this happened right before he left."

"I think so," I laughed. I tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, the smile quickly falling.

"What am I going to do?" I whispered. Tears filled my eyes as I started to panic. "I'm going to be a mom. How am I supposed to be a mom when I don't know how. . . My mom died when I was barely a teenager. I don't know. . . I don't know how to be a mom. And I can't do this alone. I need Caleb. I need his help. I need him. He's the one who was always amazing with kids. Not me. And now. . . If he's. . . If he's really gone. . . I need him. I can't do this alone."

"You're not alone," Felicia said as she easily caught me before my knees could give out. She lifted my chin, making me look at her. "You are not alone, Abigail. Even if, heaven forbid, even if Caleb doesn't make it home. You have me. You will always have me. I can help you. Hell, if you wanted to, you could move into the guest bedroom. We could renovate the basement into a small apartment for you."

"Felicia," I said, my voice breaking.

"No," she said sternly. "I mean it. You and that baby are not alone."

A sob escaped my lips as I pulled her into a tight hug. I smiled as I felt Sydney join our hug.

"Don't worry, honey," Felicia whispered, not pulling out of the hug. "Whether they come home or not, we have each other. We gotta stick together. Now more than ever."

* * * * *

I spent the rest of the day with Felicia and Sydney. We didn't talk about the rig or the accident or whether Caleb and Mike would make it home. Instead, we talked about the pregnancy. Syd asked questions about the baby while Felicia asked questions about the pregnancy and how I was feeling.

I was hesitant to tell Felicia about the sleeping pills I was on, but she reassured me that she was on something similar when she was pregnant with Syd. After a while of talking about birth classes and epidurals, Syd eventually got bored. She started to watch a show while Felicia and I continued talking.

I was in the kitchen making lunch with Felicia when I finally turned the conversation to Caleb and Mike.

"Do you think they're okay?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "I hope so."

"If they were, wouldn't they call us by now?"

"I'm not sure," she said honestly. "It all depends. They could be in the process of getting the survivor's medical information, searching the rig, and going through the manifest. I'm sure it takes time."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. I closed my eyes and took a shaky breath. "I'm just so scared and I don't know what to think right now."

"I know, sweetheart." She sighed. I opened my eyes to see her sending me a soft look. "But, all we can do is wait."

I nodded as we went back to making sandwiches. I hesitated before finally asking, "Is it okay if I stay with you and Syd tonight? I just. . . I really don't want. . . I don't think I should be alone."

"Of course," she smiled as she put her hand on my arm. "You can stay until we get the news that they are okay."

I knew she wasn't just referring to when we hear if they were okay. She was telling me that even if he wasn't okay, I could still stay with them.

Finally an offer from a parent I would be more than happy to accept.