Bill Hader One Shots

His Hand

This story was requested by @80s90sTeen
I hope it's what you wanted and if not I still think I did a good job making it not sound too cringy (I hope) anyway enjoy this slightly different sort of Bill imagine!

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I felt the first shock of pleasant agony. They were coming sooner than expected, two weeks too soon. All my happiness, excitement, and fear assembles together to create this unbearable emotion consuming me. I need him and fast.
"Bill!" I call out from the sofa. He sprints into the living room quicker than anything I've ever seen before.
"What? Is the pizza too hot? Do you need a napkin? Are you ok? Is it a pregnancy thing?" He spills out not really compiling any sentences along the way.
"Yeah, Bill the pizza's too hot." I roll my eyes.
"Really?"
"No, of course not! It's a pregnancy thing."
He looks at me with shock and fear and excitement, like how I feel I'm the moment but a lot more expressive, like he is.
"Are they coming?"
"I think so?" I say pretty clueless to what's happening. "Maybe we should have like read one of those pregnancy books..." I look at him with a sort of 'shrug' face.
He smiles, I can tell his excitement is overcoming all other emotions. Mine too.
"I don't know, that 20 minute YouTube video seemed to be good enough."
"Oh yeah, definite- ee" Another shock of pain startles me.
"OH, oh my god. Should I look this up or-"
"The midwife!" I say, a little agitated from the pain.
"Yeah, you're right I'll call the midwife"
I smile sarcastically.
Nearly 5 minutes later he returns from the kitchen, pacing and rolling up his sleeves.
"Ok, lie down on the couch." He says assertively.
"Ok..." I say looking at him a little concerned.
"It's not like I'm going to deliver the babies! I just need to time these 'contractions' you're having."
"Ooooh a big word!" I say mockingly.
"Come on, I'm responsible for you until the midwife says so!"
"Aye aye, captain." I say saluting and switching my position onto my back.
Bill sits next to me, like the good husband he always has been to me. He keeps his eyes locked on the stop watch he's started on his phone.
"Ooh, there's another one."
"I see..." he says as if I'm a test subject for some strange drug he's developing.
2 hours later the midwife arrives at our house. (Yes 2 hours, birth doesn't happen instantly people.)
"Hey [y/n], how are we doing today?" Says the midwife in the kindest voice possible. However the pain and my restlessness overtakes me and I cannot save her from the demon that now controls me.
"Well, I've been pushing out a baby by myself for the last 2 hours and Bill still hasn't made me my smoothie!" I say almost screaming at this point.
I stare daggers at Bill, he doesn't seem to mind, he just begins to reply but then stops himself, instead, he hastily makes his way to the kitchen.

The process of giving birth takes place over the course of 6 hours, I couldn't believe how lucky I was, I felt quite guilty afterwards, but still very painful from giving birth to twin boys!
Bill held my hand through the entire process. Even when I gripped his hand so tight I could have broken a bone, he didn't complain. Instead he was my main motivation. In that moment I felt everything that love was. He was still always perfect to me even through times like this.
When baby number 1 popped out I saw Bill's face light up so brightly that I think I saw a tear in his eye. The pure joy that he felt in that moment was motivation enough to push out the second one.
Im my hands are two beautiful children. That are mine! And Bill's! I really can't believe that our first date would end up here.
We went to the cinema and saw Drive a neo-noir film about a stuntman/getaway driver. The romance in that film was one of young love. However me and Bill were in our early 30s so it was hard to think that the idea of this young, quickly found love could happen to him people like us, but it did. I knew I loved him after our 4th date, 2 months into our relationship. I think Bill said he felt the same. Of course we never said it to each other until around the 4 month, but I think we knew through our actions.
To see how the relationship, marriage and friendship has lead us to this moment pleases me so much.
"We're going to be the best parents ever." Bill says lying beside me in bed. By this point the midwife is gone, leaving behind new-born baby tips.
Bill kisses me on the forehead and cradles [b/n] as I cradle [other b/n]
"We are aren't we." I reply optimistically, and completely content in what my life has become.