A Normal Mission

4

Breakfast was the most at home Jim had felt in years. Even with three new additions to the family, it truly felt like his family. Barbara obviously had missed his cooking, reminding Jim every few bites how amazing his cooking was (oftentimes, her mouth still half full during the review.)
Strickler had given Jim something that simply resembled a slice of plain, home-baked bread. Despite its simplicity, Jim nearly melted at the flavour. It tasted like bread, something he hadn't experienced since his transformation years ago. Jim wanted to ask what he ate but he would rather imagine he was, even if only for a moment, simply human again. The sensation was bittersweet in the truest way. It felt like a stinging in his heart as he was forced to remember how this wasn't truly his life anymore but a warmth spread through him with each bite and each comment from his mother.

It would be a lie to say things were the same. Jim first truly realized that when he saw his mother tuck a grey strand of hair behind her ear. The years had been kind to her but her age and stress were beginning to show, even if only in a few wisps of grey hair and a crinkle in her skin when she smiled. A tingle of guilt crawled up Jim's scalp. Of course, she was going to age but he knew so much of this stress was his fault. And he was about to make it worse.

"I didn't just come to visit," Jim admitted, looking down at his plate, barren apart from crumbs.

Barbara smiled despite the warmth in her eyes becoming dimmer, a bit disappointed, "I..I knew that."

He looked up, a bit surprised, "You did?"

A small laugh escaped his mother's lips, her fingers brushing against her glasses frame to push them up, "Jim, you don't just visit. Especially if I don't ask first."

The guilt burned worse now, permeating into his chest. She noticed the shame instantly and stumbled over an apology and assured him he was a good son with a squeeze of his human hand. Despite this, Jim felt wretched that he was never home for her. What kind of a son was he?

His distress left him almost unwilling to address the true reason for his return but Barbara's gaze grew increasingly concerned as she watched him.

"Jim?" she asked, biting her lip, "Is something wrong, kiddo?"

With a shake of his head, her anxiety seemed to evaporate.

"No, mom. I'm okay," he promised, worrying his hand over the prongs of his fork, "It's just a normal, good old-fashioned trollhunters mission. I have to get some old books and stuff in the ruins of the Janus order base."

"The Janus order?" this peaked Strickler's attention, turning his eyes up from his own coffee to look at them, "I thought Gunmar destroyed everything down there."

"I guess not," Jim kept his eyes on the fork, fiddling with it, "Blinky thinks there may be some archaic books down there."

"I'll accompany you." Strickler decided quickly, standing from his seat.

"What?" Jim's tone was sharper than he intended, "I don't need you!"

"Jim!" Barbara scolded, her blue eyes gaining a fierce glint to them.

"I can be of assistance." Strickler insisted, "I spent far longer in those..those catacombs than you, young atlas. This is not a burden you need to bare alone."

Jim's hesitance must have shown on his face because Strickler continued to insist.

"I think I can handle it on my own.." the half-troll trailed off, considering what Strickler could contribute. He was understandably hesitant to bring him down there. Even as Jim considered Strickler an ally and trusted him greatly, the idea of leading him down there was a bit of a sore one. A bitter taste formed in his throat as he realized it wasn't that he didn't trust Stricklander.
It was that he didn't want to be babysat during a mission.

Swallowing his pride, Jim agreed: "I guess it could be helpful to have someone who knows their way around."

"Surely Blinky has taught you the importance of knowledge!" Walter's voice held an infliction that Jim couldn't quite place. It was something between a joke and a jab, but he wasn't sure who's expense it was at.

"Yeah, well, he also always got into trouble for his knowledge." The trollhunter gave a half quirked smile.

"Then we will have to be a bit more careful than Blinky." Strickler must have deemed the discussion at it's close because he turned now to Barbara and took her hands. Her hands appeared so small and delicate in his rough, gnarled hands. His thumb trailed over her knuckles as he pressed a chaste kiss to her lips in the form of a farewell.

"Be careful." Barbara breathed the words, barely audible, "and take care of my son."

"Don't worry, my love. I'm confident in Jim's abilities." He assured her, giving her hands one last comforting squeeze before dropping them and returning his attention to Jim, "it's time we departed."